The first time I heard the term “Haters gonna hate” I laughed out loud. I had to think about what the phrase really meant. You know what I mean? Sometimes we hear these catchy phrases and begin repeating them without really knowing what they mean.
“Haters gonna hate” does not mean that they truly hate others. On the contrary, what the phrase means is people who are jealous or insecure, will always have something critical to say or imply about someone else. The term really only means that if one is a negative person, all they do is find fault, be critical or just plain and simple, have nothing good to offer. I chalk it up to them having low self-esteem. They will never admit it, but I bet they are always comparing themselves to others. Just think about it. A “hater” has deep insecurity. They put on pretenses that they are confident and strong, when in fact, they are not. Many times what’s lurking right under the surface is the question “Am I good enough?” They may be really good at many things, but they seem to zone in on what someone else is good at or what someone else is getting credit for, and it bothers them. Just watch someone who you think may fit these descriptions: They brag to show what they have. They evaluate their clothing, hair, car, home, my goodness, anything to someone they are secretly competing with. The person may not even know that they are in a competition, but the hater knows. Actually, it takes too much energy for me to deal with haters, so I choose not to do so. Why? I can’t change them and neither can you. So, you should not waste your time trying. In fact, you should not give your haters a second thought. I am not joking with you!
Look, haters want you off your game! The truth is they want to be just like you but they will never admit it. They want to look like you, be popular like you, be your size, do the things you do and be good at it like you are. They may smile in your face and say all the right things to seemingly show support, but all the while, in the back of their minds, they resent you for some reason. No worries though. I am going to tell you how to deal with them. Because if you would recognize who you are dealing with up front, you can head off your shock when they finally reveal their true colors to you. Here is my advice:
- Don’t watch for them, they will show up.
- When they show up, don’t be in shock. Tell yourself, LaSharnda said they exist.
- Do not waste your time with them. Be kind, professional, and aware, but do not hang out with them. Don’t be fooled into a sense of security with them. They only want something from you because they are not your friend.
- Always speak well of them. Even when they are not speaking well of you.
- When they do something to undermine you, don’t get even. Laugh. I am serious. Laugh at the situation. If you get bogged down thinking about what they did, they win. You are now distracted, unfocused and vulnerable. You are not winning! The reason they secretly resent you is because they see you as a winner.
My grandmother always said “what’s done in the dark, will come to light.” I couldn’t stand it when she said that. However, she was right. Whatever it is that someone succeeds at doing to you or even if they try to do something to you, just remember, you don’t have to worry. If you are a Believer, the Bible says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”(Romans 12:19)..
If you are a non-believer, (I wish you were a Believer), but this is for you, Karma is a B—- and remember, “What goes around, comes around.”