Do You Have Heart Issues Like Me?

heartsDo you ever deal with “heart” issues?

I have been dealing with heart issues lately. My heart and my head are working overtime trying to figure out myself and my motives while trying not to worry about the motives of others.

I observe people. I am a people-watcher. More than anything, I listen to people, even when they don’t think I am. I watch for signs of superiority and insincerity. These traits will show up in various ways.  All you need to do is wait.

Anyway, I don’t like the way I have been feeling lately. Like you, I have seen the best of folks and the worst. I told myself that it’s time to stop and reevaluate my surroundings; not my inner circle, they are cool, but some of my associations and occasional acquaintances. If I, or you, are not careful, these associations can become more frequent and more influential in our thought patterns. You see, we sometimes hear from these acquaintances more than from our inner circle and before we know it, their voices are in our heads and spills over into our hearts. This is the time to find our inner circle!

My inner circle is people who are more than just trustworthy; they are authentic!  They are positive, going somewhere people who energize me.  We don’t always agree, but we respect each other.

friendship-starts-in-loving-heartWe value the opinions of each other, and we trust that each one of us is intelligent and bright enough to have an opinion worth hearing. I love my inner circle because we believe in treating others well whether others are like us or not. We don’t insult others or treat people in a nasty way. We are proud and open-minded and we recognize that we don’t have all the answers, nor do we know the mind of God, but we trust God with the answer.

I am reminding myself lately to be careful to check my heart. I don’t want it to become dark and distrusting of others. I ask you to do the same.  With all that is going on in the world, we have to guard our hearts and our attitudes. Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into negativity and pessimism. It’s too easy to do.  One way to ensure that does not happen is to step away from social media (which isn’t so social anymore) and read your Bible.  Stop listening to the crowd for a while, rather, sit, reflect and wait to hear from God.

The Word of God says in Lamentations 3:22-23 that “The steadfast love of the Lord never ends. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.; great is your faithfulness.”

I know that God loves me. He loves you too, but He also loves the world. The world doesn’t look the same to everyone; I get that. However, the world and all that is in it belongs to God (Psalms 24:1).

I have told myself that instead of being frustrated with what I have seen lately, I will trust God. He has always taken care of me and I trust He will continue to do so. He mends the brokenhearted and He cares about the things that bother us.  I  believe that the God I love is probably a whole lot more tolerant and accepting of those that are not like me. I don’t know, but I do believe that one day I will.

Haters Gonna Hate!

haters gonna hateThe first time I heard the term “Haters gonna hate” I laughed out loud.  I had to think about what the phrase really meant.  You know what I mean? Sometimes we hear these catchy phrases and begin repeating them without really knowing what they mean.

“Haters gonna hate” does not mean that they truly hate others. On the contrary, what the phrase means is people who are jealous or insecure, will always have something critical to say or imply about someone else. The term really only means that if one is a negative person, all they do is find fault, be critical or just plain and simple, have nothing good to offer. I chalk it up to them having low self-esteem. They will never admit it, but I bet they are always comparing themselves to others. Just think about it.  A “hater” has deep insecurity. They put on pretenses that they are confident and strong, when in fact, they are not.  Many times what’s lurking right under the surface is the question “Am I good enough?”  They may be really good at many things, but they seem to zone in on what someone else is good at or what someone else is getting credit for, and it bothers them. Just watch someone who you think may fit these descriptions: They brag to show what they have. They evaluate their clothing, hair, car, home, my goodness, anything to someone they are secretly competing with. The person may not even know that they are in a competition, but the hater knows. Actually, it takes too much energy for me to deal with haters, so I choose not to do so. Why? I can’t change them and neither can you. So, you should not waste your time trying. In fact, you should not give your haters a second thought. I am not joking with you!

karmaLook, haters want you off your game! The truth is they want to be just like you but they will never admit it. They want to look like you, be popular like you, be your size, do the things you do and be good at it like you are.  They may smile in your face and say all the right things to seemingly show support, but all the while, in the back of their minds, they resent you for some reason.  No worries though. I am going to tell you how to deal with them. Because if you would recognize who you are dealing with up front, you can head off your shock when they finally reveal their true colors to you. Here is my advice:

  1. Don’t watch for them, they will show up.
  2. When they show up, don’t be in shock. Tell yourself, LaSharnda said they exist.
  3. Do not waste your time with them. Be kind, professional, and aware, but do not hang out with them. Don’t be fooled into a sense of security with them. They only want something from you because they are not your friend.
  4. Always speak well of them. Even when they are not speaking well of you.
  5. When they do something to undermine you, don’t get even. Laugh.  I am serious. Laugh at the situation.  If you get bogged down thinking about what they did, they win.  You are now distracted, unfocused and vulnerable. You are not winning!  The reason they secretly resent you is because they see you as a winner.

vengenance is mineMy grandmother always said “what’s done in the dark, will come to light.” I couldn’t stand it when she said that. However, she was right.  Whatever it is that someone succeeds at doing to you or even if they try to do something to you, just remember, you don’t have to worry. If you are a Believer, the Bible says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”(Romans 12:19)..

If you are a non-believer, (I wish you were a Believer), but this is for you, Karma is a B—- and remember, “What goes around, comes around.”

 

 

An Issue of The Heart

Guard-your-heart-above-all-else-for-it
I ordered these killer boots from Amazon that were to be delivered on Saturday. Doorbell rang, my husband goes to the door.  UPS had delivered an order. My husband brings the box inside and hands it to me because it had my name on it.

I tell him thank you and when I opened the box, I found a pair of young girl size 6 Nike shoes from Zappos.  UPS mis-delivered so I pick up my phone and call Zappos to tell them that someone will be looking for these shoes.  I asked them how I could get the shoes back to Zappos or the intended customer.  The lady on the line says, “Oh thank you so much for being honest” (I hate it when people say that to me) and then she told me what to do next. Easy right?  It was.  However, during the course of our conversation she said, “you probably want to check to see if something was supposed to be delivered to you today from Amazon because we share truck space with them!” Oh no, I thought and then I went into panic mode. I was expecting these “Killer Boots” today!

I logged onto the Amazon site and looked at all my orders, you guessed it, my boots were marked “delivered today” so I frantically began writing to Amazon about the mix-up. Eventually I spoke to a young woman over the phone. She was really nice, I can’t say that I was pleasant to deal with. I was only focused on my boots. Where were my boots is all that was turning in my head.  She continued in a pleasant manner and readily gave me a refund, but I still wasn’t happy. I didn’t want my money back, I wanted MY boots! I was frustrated and unhappy. My husband tried to ask me questions and I was snippy. My son was instant messaging me and I was telling him what had happened, which got me even more frustrated the more I typed. I think he sensed my attitude and stopped.  I could feel my blood pressure rising.  My grandson sat quietly on the couch playing on his IPAD but watching this scenario play out.  Occasionally he would look at me and say, “Grandma, you ok?”  I explained to him my side and he listened sweetly but I am sure he didn’t understand why I was letting this situation get to me.

During the course of all of this, I looked to see if I could simply re-order the boots. No, because the boots were no longer available in my color on Amazon at all. I looked out on Google to see what stores carried it. I went to the Nordstrom site, Macys, Dillards,  and everywhere I looked for that boot it had sold out!   Not one single site had that boot; not one! I was becoming consumed with a boot.
collect-moments-not-thingsI finally felt the nudge from the Holy Spirit say to me, “Stop. If these boots are for you, you will get them, but maybe they are not for you.” I looked around at my husband and grandson sitting quietly and calmly and thought to myself, what’s wrong with you? You are acting like a spoiled brat. Those boots don’t matter; they do.

I turned off my computer and got up and went to a quiet place to calm my spirit and pray. I went to a place that I would be able to relax and reflect. I went to my room. I could hear the dialogue going on in my mind. It went like this.  Don’t you dare allow “boots” to get to you. Look around. Look at what you have; you have so much to be thankful for; don’t you dare let boots create an attitude  that will affect the mood of this house.

That was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. That’s why I say that we can choose. We can choose how we respond to negative and frustrating situations or how we respond to frustrating people. I know the Holy Spirit will do His job, our job is not only to listen, but to obey. In the big scheme of things, do material things matter? The answer is no. It’s that simple. A relationship with God and others is what matters most.