Do You Have Heart Issues Like Me?

heartsDo you ever deal with “heart” issues?

I have been dealing with heart issues lately. My heart and my head are working overtime trying to figure out myself and my motives while trying not to worry about the motives of others.

I observe people. I am a people-watcher. More than anything, I listen to people, even when they don’t think I am. I watch for signs of superiority and insincerity. These traits will show up in various ways.  All you need to do is wait.

Anyway, I don’t like the way I have been feeling lately. Like you, I have seen the best of folks and the worst. I told myself that it’s time to stop and reevaluate my surroundings; not my inner circle, they are cool, but some of my associations and occasional acquaintances. If I, or you, are not careful, these associations can become more frequent and more influential in our thought patterns. You see, we sometimes hear from these acquaintances more than from our inner circle and before we know it, their voices are in our heads and spills over into our hearts. This is the time to find our inner circle!

My inner circle is people who are more than just trustworthy; they are authentic!  They are positive, going somewhere people who energize me.  We don’t always agree, but we respect each other.

friendship-starts-in-loving-heartWe value the opinions of each other, and we trust that each one of us is intelligent and bright enough to have an opinion worth hearing. I love my inner circle because we believe in treating others well whether others are like us or not. We don’t insult others or treat people in a nasty way. We are proud and open-minded and we recognize that we don’t have all the answers, nor do we know the mind of God, but we trust God with the answer.

I am reminding myself lately to be careful to check my heart. I don’t want it to become dark and distrusting of others. I ask you to do the same.  With all that is going on in the world, we have to guard our hearts and our attitudes. Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into negativity and pessimism. It’s too easy to do.  One way to ensure that does not happen is to step away from social media (which isn’t so social anymore) and read your Bible.  Stop listening to the crowd for a while, rather, sit, reflect and wait to hear from God.

The Word of God says in Lamentations 3:22-23 that “The steadfast love of the Lord never ends. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.; great is your faithfulness.”

I know that God loves me. He loves you too, but He also loves the world. The world doesn’t look the same to everyone; I get that. However, the world and all that is in it belongs to God (Psalms 24:1).

I have told myself that instead of being frustrated with what I have seen lately, I will trust God. He has always taken care of me and I trust He will continue to do so. He mends the brokenhearted and He cares about the things that bother us.  I  believe that the God I love is probably a whole lot more tolerant and accepting of those that are not like me. I don’t know, but I do believe that one day I will.

Haters Gonna Hate!

haters gonna hateThe first time I heard the term “Haters gonna hate” I laughed out loud.  I had to think about what the phrase really meant.  You know what I mean? Sometimes we hear these catchy phrases and begin repeating them without really knowing what they mean.

“Haters gonna hate” does not mean that they truly hate others. On the contrary, what the phrase means is people who are jealous or insecure, will always have something critical to say or imply about someone else. The term really only means that if one is a negative person, all they do is find fault, be critical or just plain and simple, have nothing good to offer. I chalk it up to them having low self-esteem. They will never admit it, but I bet they are always comparing themselves to others. Just think about it.  A “hater” has deep insecurity. They put on pretenses that they are confident and strong, when in fact, they are not.  Many times what’s lurking right under the surface is the question “Am I good enough?”  They may be really good at many things, but they seem to zone in on what someone else is good at or what someone else is getting credit for, and it bothers them. Just watch someone who you think may fit these descriptions: They brag to show what they have. They evaluate their clothing, hair, car, home, my goodness, anything to someone they are secretly competing with. The person may not even know that they are in a competition, but the hater knows. Actually, it takes too much energy for me to deal with haters, so I choose not to do so. Why? I can’t change them and neither can you. So, you should not waste your time trying. In fact, you should not give your haters a second thought. I am not joking with you!

karmaLook, haters want you off your game! The truth is they want to be just like you but they will never admit it. They want to look like you, be popular like you, be your size, do the things you do and be good at it like you are.  They may smile in your face and say all the right things to seemingly show support, but all the while, in the back of their minds, they resent you for some reason.  No worries though. I am going to tell you how to deal with them. Because if you would recognize who you are dealing with up front, you can head off your shock when they finally reveal their true colors to you. Here is my advice:

  1. Don’t watch for them, they will show up.
  2. When they show up, don’t be in shock. Tell yourself, LaSharnda said they exist.
  3. Do not waste your time with them. Be kind, professional, and aware, but do not hang out with them. Don’t be fooled into a sense of security with them. They only want something from you because they are not your friend.
  4. Always speak well of them. Even when they are not speaking well of you.
  5. When they do something to undermine you, don’t get even. Laugh.  I am serious. Laugh at the situation.  If you get bogged down thinking about what they did, they win.  You are now distracted, unfocused and vulnerable. You are not winning!  The reason they secretly resent you is because they see you as a winner.

vengenance is mineMy grandmother always said “what’s done in the dark, will come to light.” I couldn’t stand it when she said that. However, she was right.  Whatever it is that someone succeeds at doing to you or even if they try to do something to you, just remember, you don’t have to worry. If you are a Believer, the Bible says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”(Romans 12:19)..

If you are a non-believer, (I wish you were a Believer), but this is for you, Karma is a B—- and remember, “What goes around, comes around.”



Living Happy Everyday

live happyFor years I hosted a radio show titled” Living Happy Everyday with Dr. LaSharnda.” My first published book was titled “When You Are Happy With You.” and my monthly contribution to a magazine is titled “Positive Faith.”  I think you can sense how I tend to live my life and how I think I can help others do the same.I simply prefer looking at my life with an attitude of the glass “half-full” rather than “half-empty.  It’s hard for me to understand why anyone would refuse to do the same.

Have you ever met someone who point out everything that is wrong with others? The see everything that is wrong with the state of the nation and with the world. Yet, they can’t see anything wrong with themselves. As the Bible says, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5.

I have listened with an ear of cynicism to some who argue that God did not intend for us to be happy.  Really? I have heard some say that God only cares about us preaching the gospel and making sure we are out in the world ministering and saving souls. Although, I agree that is very important and is the Great Commission, I still believe that God cares about every single thing that affects who we are both collectively and individually. The Bible says that we don’t have to worry about “stuff” because if He cares about the sparrows of the field, how much more do you think He cares about us; His children? Matthew 6:26. Sure He cares about our happiness. To me, there is no doubt in my mine regarding that.

I do want to say this though. It’s our responsibility to try and live happy and not just sit around waiting for Jesus to cause us to be happy.  In Him is complete truth, so we should be happy about that.  However, to live a happy life everyday takes intention. We have to be intentional in our thinking. In fact, we have to take control of our imaginations and emotions especially as we think and feel about people and situations. If we don’t, we will automatically find ourselves in a deeply negative and discouraging frame of mind.

Let’s face it, it is easy to complain. It is easy to see fault and it is easy to participate in gossip. It is easy you-dont-become-happy-by-pursuing-happiness-you-become-happy-by-living-a-life-that-means-something-quote-1to mumble and whine. It is easy to get disgusted, discouraged and down-right angry.  It takes little to no effort for any of these emotions to happen. What takes effort is to not complain, not gossip, not mumble or whine. Think about it! It takes a considerable amount of effort to resist being discouraged, disgusted and angry. In fact, I have to tell myself when I find myself going down that rabbit-hole to stop it.  Sometimes I have to be firm with myself and say it out loud—-STOP IT.  It’s called taking your thoughts captive.

Did you know that the Bible reminds us to do just that? “We demolish arguments and every pretension that set itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.’ .2 Corinthians 10:5. See?

Listen, do you live a happy life? Do you want to? Does God care if you live happy? I say that He does care.   In Ecclesiastes 3:12, it says this: “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.

I couldn’t agree more!

What Do You Say To Yourself?

speakwellofyourselfI have always listened carefully when others speak.  I don’t just listen when they speak to me, I listen to all sorts of conversations that go on around me too.

I learned a long time ago why many people do not live well. I understand why they have problems at work and in relationships; they just don’t hear how they speak to themselves.

Have you ever asked anyone what they wanted out of life? Have you asked them about their goals and the things that they wanted to accomplish?  Of course you have.  Now, how many of those that you have had this conversation with have automatically said to you, here are my life’s goals and then watch them lay them out systematically? How many? I bet one or maybe two. I can almost guarantee that you had more people say that they did not really know what they wanted out of life.  Or maybe those who knew what they wanted, but wasn’t doing anything to accomplish them.When you asked them why weren’t they pursuing their goals, they gave you a million excuses why not. Excuse ranged from “I am waiting for my children to grow up and get out of the house” or “I just have too much going on right now”

Well, we tell ourselves many things, don’t we? Evaluate what you tell yourself about you.  Look deeper at your excuses.  Is it that you are waiting for your children to grow up and get out of the house? Really? Is it that you just have too much going on right now? Seriously? Or could it be that you have just talked yourself out of believing that you can? Do you tear yourself down? Do you tell yourself constantly how stupid you are? How dumb you are? How unintelligent?  Maybe that’s the real problem.  Maybe you have talked yourself out of pursuing your goals because you just don’t think better of yourself.

I want to challenge you to think about what you say to yourself about yourself. If you tell yourself that you are beautiful, smart, “all that” you will probably feel that way, even when you don’ feel that way. However, if you are constantly reminding yourself of all of your faults,  your shortcomings and your areas that are weak, you can bet when you are having a tough time, these will become more pronounced.

love yourselfLove yourself. There is only one of you and you are uniquely wonderful.