trust

An Issue of The Heart

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Guard-your-heart-above-all-else-for-it
I ordered these killer boots from Amazon that were to be delivered on Saturday. Doorbell rang, my husband goes to the door.  UPS had delivered an order. My husband brings the box inside and hands it to me because it had my name on it.

I tell him thank you and when I opened the box, I found a pair of young girl size 6 Nike shoes from Zappos.  UPS mis-delivered so I pick up my phone and call Zappos to tell them that someone will be looking for these shoes.  I asked them how I could get the shoes back to Zappos or the intended customer.  The lady on the line says, “Oh thank you so much for being honest” (I hate it when people say that to me) and then she told me what to do next. Easy right?  It was.  However, during the course of our conversation she said, “you probably want to check to see if something was supposed to be delivered to you today from Amazon because we share truck space with them!” Oh no, I thought and then I went into panic mode. I was expecting these “Killer Boots” today!

I logged onto the Amazon site and looked at all my orders, you guessed it, my boots were marked “delivered today” so I frantically began writing to Amazon about the mix-up. Eventually I spoke to a young woman over the phone. She was really nice, I can’t say that I was pleasant to deal with. I was only focused on my boots. Where were my boots is all that was turning in my head.  She continued in a pleasant manner and readily gave me a refund, but I still wasn’t happy. I didn’t want my money back, I wanted MY boots! I was frustrated and unhappy. My husband tried to ask me questions and I was snippy. My son was instant messaging me and I was telling him what had happened, which got me even more frustrated the more I typed. I think he sensed my attitude and stopped.  I could feel my blood pressure rising.  My grandson sat quietly on the couch playing on his IPAD but watching this scenario play out.  Occasionally he would look at me and say, “Grandma, you ok?”  I explained to him my side and he listened sweetly but I am sure he didn’t understand why I was letting this situation get to me.

During the course of all of this, I looked to see if I could simply re-order the boots. No, because the boots were no longer available in my color on Amazon at all. I looked out on Google to see what stores carried it. I went to the Nordstrom site, Macys, Dillards,  and everywhere I looked for that boot it had sold out!   Not one single site had that boot; not one! I was becoming consumed with a boot.
collect-moments-not-thingsI finally felt the nudge from the Holy Spirit say to me, “Stop. If these boots are for you, you will get them, but maybe they are not for you.” I looked around at my husband and grandson sitting quietly and calmly and thought to myself, what’s wrong with you? You are acting like a spoiled brat. Those boots don’t matter; they do.

I turned off my computer and got up and went to a quiet place to calm my spirit and pray. I went to a place that I would be able to relax and reflect. I went to my room. I could hear the dialogue going on in my mind. It went like this.  Don’t you dare allow “boots” to get to you. Look around. Look at what you have; you have so much to be thankful for; don’t you dare let boots create an attitude  that will affect the mood of this house.

That was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. That’s why I say that we can choose. We can choose how we respond to negative and frustrating situations or how we respond to frustrating people. I know the Holy Spirit will do His job, our job is not only to listen, but to obey. In the big scheme of things, do material things matter? The answer is no. It’s that simple. A relationship with God and others is what matters most.

 

 

 

You Taught Me a Lesson…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

lessons-learned
I know I am not the only one who has asked herself, “Why do I feel that I am a target lately?” Have you ever wondered if it was just your time to be the focus of “people messing with you”?

Well, that’s how I have felt over the last several months.  It’s been one attack after another.  As a woman in her 50’s I have been good about not letting people get to me.  Because when I was in my twenties, had anyone tried me, I would have not given a second thought to taking their heads off. Nowadays, I pride myself on not even responding. However, I think because I don’t respond like I did 30 years ago, some may take my silence for weakness. That’s a big mistake.
Attacks are hard, I don’t care how they come.  But when they come from someone you thought you could trust, they are particularly hurtful. It makes you wonder why someone you thought you could trust, would take underhanded approaches in dealing with you. Well, they may say, “You’re unapproachable” and that could be true, I guess. But honestly, would you believe them? I wouldn’t.

When people are underhanded, two-faced, gossipy and just down-right messy, they teach you valuable lessons. One of those lessons is that they can’t be trusted! So learn not to trust them!

What makes a person messy? It became apparent to me a long time ago that there were people who seemed to be just wired that way. Their lives seem full, but that is a fascade also. They do not have meaningful relationships so I think they secretly envy those who do.  A person who always finds themselves in the middle of mess, should ask themselves “why”? but they won’t because they like being in the middle of mess.  In fact, I bet you will find them so busy messing around in another person’s life that they cannot make positive strides in their owenvyn.  They can’t be happy!

Maya Angelou said, and I have said it many times as well, “When a person shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” That really hit home recently.  I believe in what Maya Angelou said, I should have been on guard with the person who betrayed me. But like so many of you, I let my guard down because I wanted to give another person the benefit of the doubt. I wanted them not to be an ingenuous person; I wanted them to be honest and sincere. Turns out they were not.

So what do you do when you face an insincere person? What do you do when you find out that you have to watch your back around a person who is waiting to put a knife in it?  You do nothing.  You just watch and guard yourself; that’s it.  They are the ones who are insecure. They will never accept that they have these deep insecurities, but they do. You don’t have to argue the point them; you just need to remember.  Keep their tactics close in your mind; don’t keep it in your heart; just remember. Don’t hold grudges; just remember. Because there will be another time when their true colors will show and you will stop and remember that they showed you who they were many times before. This difference the next time is that you will not be surprised or caught off guard or ill-equipped to handle their tactics because you have paid attention.

Life’s lessons can be hard, but they are designed to help us mature and survive.  In situations like this one, you don’t get bitter, you don’t get even, you learn the lesson. .

Happy Attitudes = Happy Lives

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

ecclesiastes-3-12-13
Ecclesiastes 3:12 reads “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.”  See, there it is!

One writer stated “The goal of every Christian should not be happiness because the Bible never promises happiness to the believer but joy, that is a totally different story.  While happiness is temporary and is based upon happenings, joy is from the Lord and you can still experience joy during trials, suffering, and testing.  Joy is permanent but happiness is fleeting.”

I understand what this writer is saying, but isn’t this just semantics? I don’t disagree, but I don’t think we have to get hung up on this either.  In fact, I feel if we are going to disagree on something, it should not be on whether or not God wants us to live a life of happiness?

11690912-attitude-is-everything-text-written-with-chalk-on-a-blackboardWe should not be fighting over this. So why do we? Is it just easier to sit and fight and to be negative?

Do you think that God designed us to with the attitude of negativity? No, He did not. In fact, the Bible tells us in Philippians to think on things that are good, pure, honest, all of these are positive thoughts. I know that it takes intentional effort to be positive, that’s why Romans 12:2 tells us that it is important to transform our minds and that’s what the Holy Spirit does for us. He helps us to draw from His strength when we would automatically default to the negatives in this world. When our minds are transformed and when we focus on what we are thinking about, I think we will work hard to stop random negative thoughts from becoming permanent negative thoughts that become our daily lives.

The Bible tells us “there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good.” I bet the happiness that is talked about here is not seeking to live our lives out of selfish gain, nor out of stepping on others to get to the top, nor is it in fame and popularity; neither is it just an emotional state that one feels just because something good happened. I think the end of the scripture really tells us how we will live a life that is happy and positive; a life that rejects negativity. We do it in being productive and not idle. We live happy by working and seeing the works of our hands, whether it is something tangible or intangible we produce.

When we reach out and touch the lives of others and when we add to the lives of others, those kinds of acts bring about joy and joy produces happiness in our lives.  Happy attitudes result in happy lives. So, can we actually accomplish what is stated in Ecclesiastes 3?  I think so. That, too, begins with our attitudes towards work and life

What Will You Do When Opportunities Knock?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

opptyknockingI am not a comedienne at all, but sometimes I get one in there when I said “when opportunities knock, don’t send them to your neighbor.”

Recently a person I know had a great opportunity to show their skill and expertise but was too shy to do so.  Their boss automatically thought the person could take care of a major job without questioning at all if the person had the skill.  When the boss said to the person to take of it, they replied “Well, I will try; I don’t know if I can handle it.” Yikes! I asked them if they could handle the problem and the person said, “I think so.” Knowing full well that they could, as well as knowing that they had probably royally messed up a chance to show their skill, they called me after the fact and told me the story. then asked me “what do.you think I should do?”

What do you think, I said? “Hang up and go and take care of it! Don’t let them go outside the company and pay for another “expert” to come in and fix it when you can do it yourself.” It didn’t take much convincing. For them to pick up the phone and call me already said something about them knowing that they had made a mistake. The good news is that they recognized it and did something about it.

Once the situation was taken care and the person had successfully handled the problem, they sent me a message telling me that they had handled it. I congratulated them and went on my way.

Later, I was thinking of that particular situation and wondered many times the exact same situation had happened to others but they did not rush to self-correcwalkingthroughdoorofopptyt. How many times do you allow others to seek out someone else to do a job that you could do? The question that follows is, why?

Is it because you don’t want the responsibility? It is because you have self-doubt? Or is it because of laziness? I would like to think that the latter isn’t the case the majority of the time. I would like to believe it is because you are shy or fearful of failure.
I can just hear the wheels turning and the doubts beginning to pop up as you consider if you would have jumped in and volunteered your expertise. Many of us would say that we would, but trust me, others would not and it’s because of a lack of confidence or maybe the fear of being embarrassed or criticized if what they tried did not work.

May I suggest that you won’t know if you don’t try? May I also suggest that one thing that you will find out, if nothing else, is when you try,you show not only others, but you show yourself, that you are willing to take a risk. You demonstrate your willingness to help which shows that you care.  It shows that you have initiative, at a time in history, when it seems to be lacking.

You might not always get it right, but you will gain experience and, hopefully, good exposure.  You will increase your confidence, your boldness will develop and you will own your own decisions and contributions. This may seem difficult to digest, but once you step out and try, I don’t think you will ever look at problems the same again. You will grow.

Remember, when opportunities knock, open the door and invite them in. Don’t send them to your neighbors…

Stop Complaining…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

change-the-worldI think it was Gandhi who said “Be the change you want to see in the world.”  This quote really resonates with me because I truly believe that we can change things if we would try.

You might say, “But I don’t want to change the world.” Well, shut and stop complaining. That’s right, stop it. I don’t know about you, but I get tired of hearing folks complain about every thing. If the weather is hot, they want it cold and if it is cold, when will it be hot. It is always something. In fact, there is always something that we can complain about!  What annoys me is that those who are constant complainers, never step up to do anything. Except complain!

I am no different that others, at times; I complain too.  That’s when I have to remind myself that I need to stop. If whatever it is that I want to complain about persists, I tell myself, “ok, what can you do about it? Can you add anything positive to it?” Guess what? My perspective of the situation changes. So instead of sitting on the sidelines and pointing out all that is wrong in the world, step up and do something to help the world.

.I have always had a special place in my heart for people like Gandhi. People who step up when others draw back. I admire those who don’t have much but are willing to give what they have.  People who don’t look at their resources as  being limited, rather they look at the condition of others and they take what they have, as limited as it may be, to help. Listen, small acts become major movements of social change.

Many see Gandhi as a great person, but I see him as so much more.  I say that because our definitions of what or who is great can be based on the superficial.  However, people like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa, and others like them, are great because of their willingness to make a difference in the lives of others, thus changing the entire look and feel of the world.

great people

How about you?  Do you see yourself as being put on this earth to do something significant? Do you ever feel that you want to do something but you just can’t? You just don’t know where to begin? I bet at times these people felt that way too, but guess what? They did something anyway. If you are like most of us, you want only the best. We want the comforts of life. We want nice homes, big homes, nice cars, luxury cars, higher education, we want to marry well or simply to be independently wealthy.  We want it all. There is nothing wrong with having the good things in life; nothing at all. However, having the niceties isn’t all there is to life.

If you think about the nice things you have, one day they will be gone, or you will be, and then what? Nothing. I have talked about the value of positive attitude and the purpose of life many times.  I don’t believe that our purpose has anything to do with how much material stuff we accumulate over a lifetime. I do believe however, that being able to accomplish our purpose starts with the right attitude, which is a direct result of having the right heart. With the right heart, we can make a huge impact on the world.

Hmmm, maybe if we looked more at the lives of noble people, rather than at the lives of the super rich and famous, maybe  those noble lives will spark a flame in each of us that will help  us believe that we can make a difference too.

Love Without Conditions…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

loveI read someone’s post recently that listed a whole bunch of things for his reader’s consideration. He said that someone asked him what advice would he give to his children.  He listed so many considerate, loving and well-articulated things he would tell his children;. Clearly he loved them.  But out of all the things he listed, what resonated with me the most was “love without condition”.  During the time I read his letter, I had just received mail from someone telling me of an issue in their family with a teenager.This parent was clearly upset and so totally disappointed with what had just happened.  I had already responded to the friend and then I read this guy’s post.  I immediately thought about the situation that had just been described to me and although I had pretty much said the same thing, the phrase “love without condition” would not leave me alone.

I began to think about it.  I pondered it and asked, What is “love without condition” anyway? Well, immediately Jesus came to my mind. He is the only person that I can think of who ever loved without condition. He loved humanity so much that He died for us. Yet, there are so many in this world who refuse to believe it. They say that this is just a story that someone made up.  That Jesus was indeed a good man, but there is no way that he is the Savior of the world. My simple response? But He is. You might say, prove it. I can’t. I just believe.

I believe that Jesus is the ultimate example of unconditional love. He reached beyond His little home town, His little team of disciples, He reached beyond His own people, the Jews, to embrace and include people that nobody else would  even dare sit with. Hey, but Jesus did. Jesus didn’t mind being around hookers, drunks, the lowest of the low, He didn’t mind sitting with women or people of different races, because He loved without conditions. He forgave regularly and He knew how to meet people where they were without condemning them. He loved them without conditions.

You might say, well, there are conditions, you have to change your life to be a Follower of Jesus; to be a Christian.  No, that’s not true.  I was messed up, like many others, and He accepted me as I was and then as time went on, my life began to change because I wanted to change.  Unless you have lived in some secluded & remote place where you have never had to interact with others or you have only been around people who are exactly like you, maybe you don’t know that. But even you and those like you, are not perfect. When you met Jesus, you were not then and you are not now! Yet He still loved and continues to love you.  In fact, the Bible says, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

I am not going to even pretend that I have mastered, nor that I am anywhere near loving unconditionally, but I hope that each day I get a little better at being loving, patient, & kind,. I hope that step by step I can become what we are told to become by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 :4-7 when he says, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Hey, that’s a picture of what unconditional love looks like!  And unconditional love is not just for the people we like, it’s for everybody no matter color, gender, creed or (wait for it….!) sexual orientation.  We are to love people and let God handle the rest. Look, don’t judge me because I believe in loving others regardless of where they are. Hey, my sin and your sin may be different, but it’s still sin.the-new-commandment

Luck or Faith?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

God's favor

I hear people say, “It was just my luck” or they say “I was lucky” and I don’t say anything, but I do wonder. I wonder if they hear what they are saying.  I have said before that if we would take time and consider what we say, we probably would rethink our comments. I have also said many times before that we have to be careful about what goes into our minds, because eventually it comes out of our mouths.  It’s really important to consider the impact of what is taken into our thoughts because they will end up as actions.

But going back to my original thought about luck. Luck means that success or failure is brought on by chance rather than through one’s own actions. To be clear, you think whatever happens is just a chance thing. That’s fascinating to me.

What’s fascinating is that it is easier for a person to say that they have, or had, luck on their side rather than to say that God blessed them.

It seems to be a trend that it is hip or cool to say one does not believe in God.

Now listen, I don’t care to get into anyone’s business; if you don’t believe, you don’t believe, end of story. However, I just don’t get how it is easier say that one believes in luck rather than in God.  I do believe that it is every Believers responsibility to tell others about Jesus, so I am not saying that I don’t care about that, I just don’t believe that I have to be bothersome, judgmental or pushy in doing so.

divine-beingsBelieving in luck is as ridiculous to me as me believing in God may be to another. I know that some will argue that God is not real and that He is just something or someone I have made up to believe in because I and other Believers have to be dependent on something other than ourselves. Well, I don’t have to convince anyone that I am pretty independent but I am also totally dependent on Christ.  I have no room for luck. I believe everything happens for a reason and ultimately what happens to us ties back to God’s grand plan for each of our lives. I believe that being on this earth has absolutely nothing to do with luck and everything to do with God’s purpose for my life.  Guess what? According to Jeremiah 29:11, He has a plan and purpose for your life too.  Argue if you will, but too many things have happened in my life that convinces me that a divine hand is in it all.

As much as I believe in a divine God, I also know that I have free will. I can choose to do whatever I want. When I do that, things happen that have nothing to do with luck either, it has to do with a decision I made.  Sometimes it works out and sometimes not.  I am thankful that I have never doubted that God exists and controls all things. As the scripture says, “All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord.” (Romans 8:28).  Hey, I love Him!

So, when you say, “It was luck” or “I was lucky”, no problem, that’s your right and your choice, but please show me the same grace, respect and patience when I don’t believe that and when I say how much I believe in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  Accept me for my beliefs.  One of which is I was placed on this earth with a purpose in mind and trust me, I am going to live it happy and out loud.  My life on this earth is not by chance, by luck or coincidence, it was because the God of the universe decided on me before I was born (Jeremiah 1:5).  It’s because I know what the scriptures say about all of us, I have confidence in me.

Luck or Faith? You decide. I have…

When Your Faith is Tested

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Embrace-Gods-Grace1“There will be times in your life when your faith will be tested.” Throughout my life that phrase has popped up too many times than I want to remember.

 

Believe it or not, each time I am faced with the testing of my faith, I wonder if I can stand the test.

I am a person of faith and I truly believe in positive mental attitude and all that stuff, but in the face of some of the knock-outs I have had in life, sometimes I have weakened at my knees.  I have found myself questioning if my decisions had been the right ones, if I could have done something better or at least different. I wondered how I could have been a better mother, wife, daughter or just a better person. I have wondered about all the things I had done in my life to bring me to this place of testing.

When I feel that I can’t take anymore or when I feel that I am failing the test of believing and trusting God; when I am drowning in my tears and feel that I can barely tread water, I hear a whisper that says, “My grace is sufficient for you, LaSharnda.” I cry anyway.

god's graceWhat does that mean anyway God? is the question I ask.  I know that scripture and I try to ignore the whisper because I want to cry some more; I want to feel sorry for myself a little more; I want to hurt because I have somehow made a mess of my life and that’s why I am having the problems I am having is what I tell myself.  Again, I hear the whisper of the scripture I try to ignore say to me “My grace is sufficient for you, LaSharnda.”

I cry “Lord, please help me! Please Jesus, help me. Please, please, please” and I am so desperate that I can’t hear the voice whisper anymore. I have allowed my desperation to drown out His voice. I have allowed my fear to overshadow His presence. I recognize that I need His help and that I am in total reliance on Him. I am not in control and that cause me to panic!

All of a sudden,  I stop in the midst of my tears and recognize that maybe that is the point. Maybe I need to leave my desperation, my fear, my need to control all with Him. Maybe, just maybe, He is trying to whisper to me to depend on Him and not on myself. Maybe, just maybe, if I stop with the crying, the pleading, and the begging, and if I would turn my back on those things that somehow becomes so big and overwhelming, He will control both the situation I am facing and me. Maybe.

So I dry my face, get up and try to move forward. I can’t promise you that I won’t go through all of the same emotions again.  Whether I do or don’t, He understands what I am going through and He will be there for me when I am ready and that’s the important part of trusting and believing.

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

God Is Faithful…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

faithful-god-results-dayDo you believe that God keeps His promises? Do you have problems believing that? Is it particularly hard to believe that when you have unanswered prayers.

These are questions that I know we all have struggled with at some point, but I am here to assure you that without a doubt, God keeps His promises.

I am sure you have had challenges in your life. If you haven’t, just wait. No, I am not going to speak anything negative over your life, but just living will offer each of us some challenge at some point. Some reason to wonder if God cares enough about us that He will do something about whatever it is that maybe consuming us.

Over the last month or so, I have experienced one challenge after another. I am not complaining and that’s probably why they haven’t overtaken me; nonetheless, I have had them. My stress level has been very high. Many days I have had to remind myself that I need to stop and take a break away from everything. You see even with those who may be strong Believers, we can still become overcome with stress and anxiety.

I was thinking about all that has gone on in my life over the last couple of months and all of a sudden, I felt that God spoke to my heart,“ God is faithful.” Those words were powerful and stuck with me. They stuck with me because things were about to turn from dark days to days of sunshine even as a tornado was about to pound upon this part of Texas.

The Word of God says, “All things work together for good to those who love God.” If we aren’t careful, those familiar verses can become ordinary; they can become just common sayings for Believers, but I want to caution against taking familiar passages for granted. God is God and we can count on Him. He has proved his faithfulness over and over again. He was faithful from the time I was born, through relationship issues, self -doubt, mistakes, through my illness in 2011 and through too many other challenges I have faced in my life. He will be faithful to you too. His faithfulness isn’t just for someone special because to Him, we are all very special.

Whatever you go through, whether it is a super duper surprise or something that was coming for a while, nothing is a surprise, nor is it so huge that it will overtake Him. Things happen in our lives, good and bad, to help mature us. Other times, things will happen to test us and at other times things happen to help us learn to

How Do You Stay Positive?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Image result for image of positive black womanIs staying positive enough? You may ask, how in the world do I stay positive when so many things seem to be going wrong in my life and in the lives of those around me? Those are fair questions.

Staying positive may not change your circumstances, but it can change how you look at your circumstances. How you look at your circumstances makes all the difference in the world. If you can see the positive in whatever happens in your life, you can recover from the blow quicker. You can be  happier and even healthier, because you won’t be easily overtaken with worry or stress. If you choose to see all that is wrong with the world and also see yourself as a victim, it’s easier to wallow in the situation.

I know that there are those who feel that telling someone to stay positive is just “feel good” talk.  I have heard some say that they can’t have a positive attitude because they are just “wired” that way. They say that they can’t help but get negative. I get that it is easy to allow our minds and attitudes to default to negative. In fact, it maybe a natural reaction for those who do not think about their responses to life’s challenges.  However, I also believe that the default doesn’t have to be negative.  If you would recognize when you are in a stressful situation, that you have a choice in how you respond.  Rather than allowing the situation to dictate it for you, think first and then decide how you will respond.

In my book, I emphasize the importance of learning how to stay positive.  Begin by practicing positivity. If you don’t practice it, you will continue to default to negativity when the stress begins.

What we have to get through our minds is that no matter what others do to us; what circumstances we face, whether bad people or bad situations, someone else has faced the exact same thing before us, while we are going through it and there will be those who go through it after us. Some people have succeeded in spite of their circumstances and some have succumbed to their circumstances.  The question becomes which of these two are you? If you cultivate a positive attitude, you will look more like the former rather than the latter.

I talk about BOOMS in my book. BOOMS are Bold Obstacles Over-taking Mind & Spirit. BOOMS happen to us all. It could be an illness that knocks you to your knees; it could be a broken relationship; devastations at work or in your home. When they happen, they can destroy you if you let them. They can shake your faith and can cause you to question your intellect, skills and abilities.  BOOMS can make you question if you are good enough, smart enough or worth anything. When you recognize BOOMS for what they are,  you can figure out how to handle them.   You can determine that they will not destroy you. You will take control of your life and own it.