Well, that’s how I have felt over the last several months. It’s been one attack after another. As a woman in her 50’s I have been good about not letting people get to me. Because when I was in my twenties, had anyone tried me, I would have not given a second thought to taking their heads off. Nowadays, I pride myself on not even responding. However, I think because I don’t respond like I did 30 years ago, some may take my silence for weakness. That’s a big mistake.
Attacks are hard, I don’t care how they come. But when they come from someone you thought you could trust, they are particularly hurtful. It makes you wonder why someone you thought you could trust, would take underhanded approaches in dealing with you. Well, they may say, “You’re unapproachable” and that could be true, I guess. But honestly, would you believe them? I wouldn’t.
When people are underhanded, two-faced, gossipy and just down-right messy, they teach you valuable lessons. One of those lessons is that they can’t be trusted! So learn not to trust them!
What makes a person messy? It became apparent to me a long time ago that there were people who seemed to be just wired that way. Their lives seem full, but that is a fascade also. They do not have meaningful relationships so I think they secretly envy those who do. A person who always finds themselves in the middle of mess, should ask themselves “why”? but they won’t because they like being in the middle of mess. In fact, I bet you will find them so busy messing around in another person’s life that they cannot make positive strides in their own. They can’t be happy!
Maya Angelou said, and I have said it many times as well, “When a person shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” That really hit home recently. I believe in what Maya Angelou said, I should have been on guard with the person who betrayed me. But like so many of you, I let my guard down because I wanted to give another person the benefit of the doubt. I wanted them not to be an ingenuous person; I wanted them to be honest and sincere. Turns out they were not.
So what do you do when you face an insincere person? What do you do when you find out that you have to watch your back around a person who is waiting to put a knife in it? You do nothing. You just watch and guard yourself; that’s it. They are the ones who are insecure. They will never accept that they have these deep insecurities, but they do. You don’t have to argue the point them; you just need to remember. Keep their tactics close in your mind; don’t keep it in your heart; just remember. Don’t hold grudges; just remember. Because there will be another time when their true colors will show and you will stop and remember that they showed you who they were many times before. This difference the next time is that you will not be surprised or caught off guard or ill-equipped to handle their tactics because you have paid attention.
Life’s lessons can be hard, but they are designed to help us mature and survive. In situations like this one, you don’t get bitter, you don’t get even, you learn the lesson. .