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Do You! Maybe the World Would be a Better Place…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Beckwith photoI am always put off when I see or hear of others trying to dictate how another person should live. You know what I mean, don’t you? They want to dictate how the other person should write, talk, and behave.  I have always wondered what’s the deal with those people who think that they have been put on this earth to tell everyone what they should do.  I am also baffled by those who constantly critique others as if they were given the keys to heaven alone and no one else has been nor will they ever reach their level of superiority.

Don’t you want to tell them to bug off? To mind their own business? You know, if we could find the strength to tell them to mind their own business, as we mind our own, maybe we can get a lot more done than we expect. Maybe, just maybe, the world would be a better place.  If we would stop interfering with other’s lives and let them be who they are, maybe the world would be a better place. If we would just encourage others and not tear them down. If we would push them to write that book they dream of writing without requiring them to have the same publisher we have or the same style of writing or the same well known friends or publicists or whatever it is that we require of them before they can be good enough, maybe, just maybe, the world would be a better place.  If a person wants to sing, dance, start  a company, invest in a relationship or do anything that they dream of doing, and we not judge, but simply support them, maybe the world would be a better place.

seuss-youIf we would just let people be who they are; let them live out their dreams with our encouragement; if we would just shut up and keep our negatives opinions to ourselves, do you think that maybe the world would be a better place?

The fact is, there really isn’t any real formula for success. Some may achieve success following a formula and others have stepped out of the box and accomplished great things not following any formula at all. Your way of doing something may be great, but there are other ways. Each of us may do things differently than another, but that’s okay.

Why not allow others to live their lives? Let them “do them” and you “do you”. If we would do that, maybe the world would be a better place.  Seriously….

God Is Faithful…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

faithful-god-results-dayDo you believe that God keeps His promises? Do you have problems believing that? Is it particularly hard to believe that when you have unanswered prayers.

These are questions that I know we all have struggled with at some point, but I am here to assure you that without a doubt, God keeps His promises.

I am sure you have had challenges in your life. If you haven’t, just wait. No, I am not going to speak anything negative over your life, but just living will offer each of us some challenge at some point. Some reason to wonder if God cares enough about us that He will do something about whatever it is that maybe consuming us.

Over the last month or so, I have experienced one challenge after another. I am not complaining and that’s probably why they haven’t overtaken me; nonetheless, I have had them. My stress level has been very high. Many days I have had to remind myself that I need to stop and take a break away from everything. You see even with those who may be strong Believers, we can still become overcome with stress and anxiety.

I was thinking about all that has gone on in my life over the last couple of months and all of a sudden, I felt that God spoke to my heart,“ God is faithful.” Those words were powerful and stuck with me. They stuck with me because things were about to turn from dark days to days of sunshine even as a tornado was about to pound upon this part of Texas.

The Word of God says, “All things work together for good to those who love God.” If we aren’t careful, those familiar verses can become ordinary; they can become just common sayings for Believers, but I want to caution against taking familiar passages for granted. God is God and we can count on Him. He has proved his faithfulness over and over again. He was faithful from the time I was born, through relationship issues, self -doubt, mistakes, through my illness in 2011 and through too many other challenges I have faced in my life. He will be faithful to you too. His faithfulness isn’t just for someone special because to Him, we are all very special.

Whatever you go through, whether it is a super duper surprise or something that was coming for a while, nothing is a surprise, nor is it so huge that it will overtake Him. Things happen in our lives, good and bad, to help mature us. Other times, things will happen to test us and at other times things happen to help us learn to

We Were Not Designed to be Perfect

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NoPerfectPplDo you think that perfection is honorable? It isn’t.  Perfection is a dream that no one can attain.  Even the most respected people must deal with the idea of not being perfect simply because others think of them as being that way. If you have a problem with always seeking perfection and never attaining it, you might want to remember that we weren’t designed to be perfect. There was only one human that was perfect and, of course, that was Jesus.

I have heard people talk about being perfectionists and at times, they berate themselves because they aren’t. They feel that nothing that they do is ever good enough. They can’t move on with a simple project because it has to be perfect. They can’t write a paper or paint a wall or coordinate a table setting because every little detail must be perfect.  I understand what they mean, but I also understand that if I live life that way, I probably won’t get a lot of things done.  If I were to wait for whatever I am trying to do to be perfect, I would be frustrated and deflated!

In fact perfection can be hard on a person. It is debilitating!  It is stifling! and it can be harmful to one’s self esteem.  Talk about a sure way to hurt your self-confidence. You don’t have to because you can choose not to be a perfectionist. You know, sometimes those things that hang us up are our own self-imposed pressures.

Listen, if you want to be successful, learn to accept that doing your best is good enough. Just make sure it is your best.  When you have prepared yourself, worked hard and done all that you can to achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve, let the chips fall where they may.  Stop worrying, stop stressing, stop second-guessing. Look yourself in the mirror and say, my best was all I had and I gave all of me. Then walk away confident that if it doesn’t work out, it will be okay because you will be right back trying again tomorrow.

No you don’t have to seek perfection, you just need to be persistent.

 

 

Jesus Christ was the only perfect person.

What Do You Say To Yourself?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

speakwellofyourselfI have always listened carefully when others speak.  I don’t just listen when they speak to me, I listen to all sorts of conversations that go on around me too.

I learned a long time ago why many people do not live well. I understand why they have problems at work and in relationships; they just don’t hear how they speak to themselves.

Have you ever asked anyone what they wanted out of life? Have you asked them about their goals and the things that they wanted to accomplish?  Of course you have.  Now, how many of those that you have had this conversation with have automatically said to you, here are my life’s goals and then watch them lay them out systematically? How many? I bet one or maybe two. I can almost guarantee that you had more people say that they did not really know what they wanted out of life.  Or maybe those who knew what they wanted, but wasn’t doing anything to accomplish them.When you asked them why weren’t they pursuing their goals, they gave you a million excuses why not. Excuse ranged from “I am waiting for my children to grow up and get out of the house” or “I just have too much going on right now”

Well, we tell ourselves many things, don’t we? Evaluate what you tell yourself about you.  Look deeper at your excuses.  Is it that you are waiting for your children to grow up and get out of the house? Really? Is it that you just have too much going on right now? Seriously? Or could it be that you have just talked yourself out of believing that you can? Do you tear yourself down? Do you tell yourself constantly how stupid you are? How dumb you are? How unintelligent?  Maybe that’s the real problem.  Maybe you have talked yourself out of pursuing your goals because you just don’t think better of yourself.

I want to challenge you to think about what you say to yourself about yourself. If you tell yourself that you are beautiful, smart, “all that” you will probably feel that way, even when you don’ feel that way. However, if you are constantly reminding yourself of all of your faults,  your shortcomings and your areas that are weak, you can bet when you are having a tough time, these will become more pronounced.

love yourselfLove yourself. There is only one of you and you are uniquely wonderful.

I’m Trying to be the Best Me…

~ authorlasharnda ~ 2 Comments

 

 It is so easy to get caught up in trying to be someone else. There isn’t anything wrong with looking up to someone you admire. Nor is it wrong to look at the successes of others so that you can learn from what they have done; maybe you can do better. In addition, there isn’t anything wrong with changing how you look because you saw a particular look on someone else that you really like. There is nothing wrong with any of these.

Here’s the problem. When you become so obsessed with another person so much that you cannot appreciate who you are is not healthy. It’s a problem if you look at someone else and see inferiority rather than equality or if you see the other person as being superior to you and you lose sight of your own worth. These are problems.

The best that you can do for yourself and that you can give to the world comes with you working to be the best “You” that you can be. It is not you, trying to be the best “someone else you want to be.”

How do you become the best you? Stop focusing too much on what someone else is doing. When you find yourself constantly focusing on another’s successes, when you find yourself secretly resentful and even upset when another person is winning; when you can’t execute your own plan because you are too busy watching what someone else is doing, you are obsessing.

Your best self is your true self. Enhancing oneself is okay, losing your own identity is quite another story.  Who you are is just as valuable as the person you are watching. You are no more and certainly no less than anyone else.

Trust me, someone wants to be like you, so be your best self. always Somebody’s watching.

A Pentecostal Perspective …

~ authorlasharnda ~ 2 Comments

Jesus-is-Lord-Manila-1

I am a Proud Pentecostal.  I am a Positive Pentecostal too. Pentecostals are known for being charismatic and excitable people. We show emotion in our worship and some may think that we are weird. When I was a little girl, I was thought of as weird for sure.  We were the people in the church where people were “dancing in the Spirit” and No, we were not snake handlers!

Many people meet me and don’t believe that I would buy-in to this type of religious group.  You know, they think I am too intellectual, too smart, too informed and educated, to be a part of such a group. I am!

I love being Pentecostal.I love the excitement and the emotion expressed in our worship. I would not want to be identified with any other group. I am devoted to my faith.

My faith influences every part of my life!  My faith has not only informed my life, it has been the key element in me believing in myself and in the creation on my ideal life. I believe in prayer, Bible reading and a relationship with Jesus Christ. Because I am a follower of Jesus and believe strongly in the tenets of my faith, I don’t think that I am supposed to live a life of negativity, pessimism nor poverty. The Bible says, “All things are possible” and I truly believe that all things are. I believe in hope; my faith tells me that I have a blessed hope.  My faith also helps me overcome my fears, helps me to believe in myself and has enabled me to take risks that I may not have ever taken had I not believed in what my Bible tells me about me.

You may ask, how does religion help you to live your ideal life? For me, it certainly gave me self-confidence, which of course affected my self-esteem. I don’t see myself as less than anyone. I don’t feel inferior, I don’t feel inadequate. That’s how my faith has helped me move forward and why I have achieved so much. I am not afraid to try. I hope you won’t be afraid either, ever.

How Do You Stay Positive?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Image result for image of positive black womanIs staying positive enough? You may ask, how in the world do I stay positive when so many things seem to be going wrong in my life and in the lives of those around me? Those are fair questions.

Staying positive may not change your circumstances, but it can change how you look at your circumstances. How you look at your circumstances makes all the difference in the world. If you can see the positive in whatever happens in your life, you can recover from the blow quicker. You can be  happier and even healthier, because you won’t be easily overtaken with worry or stress. If you choose to see all that is wrong with the world and also see yourself as a victim, it’s easier to wallow in the situation.

I know that there are those who feel that telling someone to stay positive is just “feel good” talk.  I have heard some say that they can’t have a positive attitude because they are just “wired” that way. They say that they can’t help but get negative. I get that it is easy to allow our minds and attitudes to default to negative. In fact, it maybe a natural reaction for those who do not think about their responses to life’s challenges.  However, I also believe that the default doesn’t have to be negative.  If you would recognize when you are in a stressful situation, that you have a choice in how you respond.  Rather than allowing the situation to dictate it for you, think first and then decide how you will respond.

In my book, I emphasize the importance of learning how to stay positive.  Begin by practicing positivity. If you don’t practice it, you will continue to default to negativity when the stress begins.

What we have to get through our minds is that no matter what others do to us; what circumstances we face, whether bad people or bad situations, someone else has faced the exact same thing before us, while we are going through it and there will be those who go through it after us. Some people have succeeded in spite of their circumstances and some have succumbed to their circumstances.  The question becomes which of these two are you? If you cultivate a positive attitude, you will look more like the former rather than the latter.

I talk about BOOMS in my book. BOOMS are Bold Obstacles Over-taking Mind & Spirit. BOOMS happen to us all. It could be an illness that knocks you to your knees; it could be a broken relationship; devastations at work or in your home. When they happen, they can destroy you if you let them. They can shake your faith and can cause you to question your intellect, skills and abilities.  BOOMS can make you question if you are good enough, smart enough or worth anything. When you recognize BOOMS for what they are,  you can figure out how to handle them.   You can determine that they will not destroy you. You will take control of your life and own it.

 

Inspiration for It’s Your Life; Own It.

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Beckwith photoI have been asked what inspired me to write, It’s Your Life; Own It. That’s easy to answer.  For years I have coached or counseled others, whether professionally or personally.   I have taught young students and mature students , undergraduate and graduate. I have led people in government, in non-profits and in for-profit companies. One thing that has remained constant and has transcended age, gender, race or socio-economic status is the tendency of people, including me, to blame others for not having the life they dreamed of having.

I am sure you have experienced frustration, and maybe even anger, when things just did not work out as you had hoped. I saw that trait in my self when I did not get the promotions I thought I deserved. I had every excuse that anyone could think of as to why others kept me from moving forward.  Year after year, I would blame someone else for why I didn’t get what I felt I deserved. One day I woke up. I said to myself, stop it! Whatever you want in life, go after it and stop blaming. If you get it, good, if you don’t, you tried.  Just stop blaming your life’s situation on others. If you do, you not only draw negativity to yourself, but you will have given others power over you.  It’s your life, not theirs. Own your choices; own your decisions; own your risks or your lack of taking risks. Whatever you decide to do, though, is all on you.

I experienced an epiphany that day and it dawned on me that it wasn’t just me blaming others for my life; it wasn’t just me making excuses. Heck, I had heard many people do the same.  So, I decided it was time to tell others, what I told myself that day.  That’s the story of how and why I was inspired to write this book.  I hope you gain something from the experiences that are shared in it.

Welcome!

~ authorlasharnda ~ 1 Comment

Hi, and welcome!  My name is Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith, author of “It’s Your Life; Own It!” I’m so happy to have you as a visitor to my blog about my new book.  This project is very special to me, and I hope to share some of that excitement with you here.

I’ll be using this blog to interact with you about “It’s Your Life; Own It!” expanding on some of the topics in it and posting on some of the ideas related to my book and what I do for a living, inspiring others to be great leaders.  This is a great place for you to get to know me, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you, too.

What did you think of “It’s Your Life; Own It?”  What questions do you have for me?  How do you relate to my book?

I’ll be returning here frequently with new posts and responses to feedback from you.

Until next time, please tell me a little bit about yourself.  Thank you!