Only So Much Time…

May 24, 2016May 26, 2016 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

A few days ago, I was walking to the park, letting the breeze hit my face. (This is something I do a lot of the time. I do it as my second exercise of the day, but also to talk to God). When the wind brushes against my face, I have a habit of saying “Lord, I feel You in the wind.” Just a little thing between God and me.

Anyway, as I was walking, a thought occurred to me; “one minute you are 5 years old and before you know it, if you’re lucky, you are 55 or maybe 65.” It is wonderful to be alive, isn’t it? My mom died at 28 years old, so I’d always feared that I would die before I made it to 28. I am still alive and far pass the wonderful tender age of 28 and I am so grateful.

Still, I have been thinking about my mortality lately, especially since several people I’d worked with over the years recently passed.

The reality that there is more life behind me than what is in front of me, is daunting. The reality of my humanness causes me to either push the thoughts out of my mind or I sit and contemplate what’s next. The latter can cause stress because, let’s face it, I want to live forever. Don’t you? Maybe I will feel differently at 90 or 100, but I don’t feel like leaving this world anytime soon.

In fact, I dread the thought of leaving this world. Not because I don’t know what is on the other side, I just don’t think in my humanness, I cannot accept that I will no longer be here in the thick of things.

Listen, I sure don’t want this blog to be a downer, so let’s talk about the time we do have on they earth. What will I do with the time I have?

I want to make every day matter. I want to get up each day and get going. I want to do things that will make an impact on others and on me! I just do. I can’t imagine not going after my dreams, whether that means trying to run my own business or trying my hand at a new job. It is traveling to places I have never been, experiencing people and things I have never experienced. I want to tell people about Jesus, but I also want to show people Jesus through acts of kindness. I want to offer hope to others and I want to share in the joy other people experience as they learn how to make their own dreams come true. I want to get up each day and run. I want to write books and articles and I want to speak to the masses. That’s a lot!

What about you? What is it that you have always wanted to do and just didn’t feel that you were qualified to do? Or maybe you just felt scared. There is no better time than now. There is no better reason than you simply want to try.

Occasionally, I remind myself that tomorrow isn’t promised and I then ask myself, what is it that you want to do? I then turn to the scriptures and try to hear what God has to say to me because it’s what He says that matters; not what other people “think” I should do. How about you?

First and foremost, what should matter is your relationship with Jesus; never forget that. I make plans for tomorrow, but I also know full well that I may plan, but it is God who determines my steps (Proverbs 16:9). Knowing this also keeps me humble as I pursue my goals. Seek Him first in all things (Matthew 6:33).

James writes (4:13-14a), “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.’ Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.”

Life is short. What will you do with the time you have been given? Make it matter.

You’ve Come a Long Way Baby

May 16, 2016 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever looked back on your life and thought to yourself, “Wow, I have come a long way?” Ever sat around collecting your thoughts and considering the life that’s right before you now and thought to yourself, “What a blessed life?” or “What a crummy life?” Have you ever been so mesmerized with the status of your life that you just could not believe you made it to where you are now or are you terrified by the choices you have made and regret every moment of everyday of being you?

Whether you are living the life that you have always dreamed of or if it is just a mess, I believe that you have come a long way. Everything that we experience in life has been designed to bring us to where we are right now. All of the choices we have selected and the decisions we have made along the way, have all been a part of the process that makes up who we are right now. Good or bad; it is what it is.

It is always good to evaluate where you are. Even if it’s hard to face. By doing so, you have an opportunity to either continue down the path of success or you can now course-correct; you can make adjustments that can alter that path you are on. Maybe you have made many mistakes or bad choices, but I don’t believe it is ever too late to make your life count.

The totality of who you are and what you want to be all fall into one camp; the decisions you make. You want to get on the road of success? Whether that success is in your personal life, professional life or spiritual life, think differently and act differently. Start to move into the direction of what you deem as success. Don’t sit around and continue to accept mediocrity, or accept excuses or place blame, just do something and make it productive and positive. Make it something that will move you towards your goal of succeeding.

You have come a long way baby whether you think you have or not. You have come a long way whether you have succeeded in attaining your goals or whether you have fallen short. If you are where you want to be, great. If you are not there yet, you still have time to get there. However, you must act. You must make changes and do things differently than you have in the past. You see it is easy to accept the status quo and easier to remain complacent. It’s easy because it is comfortable. Doing the same things the same way won’t get you to where you want to be. Be daring, be a risk taker, use your past experiences to your advantage. What have you learned from them? If you re-evaluate them, you will find you have learned a lot.

Whatever you want, won’t just happen, however. It will happen when you begin to do. So get up and get started. You may not have as far to go as you think!

Embrace Joy!

April 23, 2016 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

There is so much sadness in the world today. The lost of some very popular celebrities are in the news. People are experiencing pain with relationships and there seems to be an overall sadness in the air. Some people who I have talked with recently are really struggling with being joyful.

It occurred to me that if I am not careful, I could find myself beginning to feel and act as sad and down as others.

I have reflected on some of the most recent conversations I have been a part of. What came to mind as I thought of some of the recent losses was how to pray for those who are experiencing pain. I have prayed over and over again. What struck me hard one morning as I was praying was this thought, “Watch it or you will find yourself sad too.” That was the Holy Spirit.

“Watch it” is important to remember. You see the scriptures tell us to “guard” our hearts in Proverbs 4:23. I believe we are told that because if we are not careful, instead of embracing “joy” in our attitudes, we can end up on a downward spiral of sadness that so consumes us that we no longer look like joyful, happy and powerful people of God. We look like people who’ve been defeated!

In Philippians 4:4, we are told to “rejoice in the Lord, ALWAYS.”

Already, I can hear some say, “You can’t always be happy.” Well, maybe not, but that does not negate what the Word of God tells us to do. I totally understand that heartaches and disappointments can get the best of any of us, but as one person put it recently: “I think that sometimes our attitudes can cause certain things to come to us.” My response to her? “You know I agree with that statement 100%.” I do believe that we can attract negativity, which includes sadness, depression, anxiety and other anti-joy stealers or we can attract positivity, happiness, peace, love, patience, and other joy-creators.

We all face “stuff.” We just do. However, we can have joy in the midst of our struggles and pain. That’s what the Word of God says.

“When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought me joy.'”

Psalm 94:19

Living Happy Everyday

March 17, 2016 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

For years I hosted a radio show titled” Living Happy Everyday with Dr. LaSharnda.” My first published book was titled “When You Are Happy With You.” and my monthly contribution to a magazine is titled “Positive Faith.” I think you can sense how I tend to live my life and how I think I can help others do the same.I simply prefer looking at my life with an attitude of the glass “half-full” rather than “half-empty. It’s hard for me to understand why anyone would refuse to do the same.

Have you ever met someone who point out everything that is wrong with others? The see everything that is wrong with the state of the nation and with the world. Yet, they can’t see anything wrong with themselves. As the Bible says, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5.

I have listened with an ear of cynicism to some who argue that God did not intend for us to be happy. Really? I have heard some say that God only cares about us preaching the gospel and making sure we are out in the world ministering and saving souls. Although, I agree that is very important and is the Great Commission, I still believe that God cares about every single thing that affects who we are both collectively and individually. The Bible says that we don’t have to worry about “stuff” because if He cares about the sparrows of the field, how much more do you think He cares about us; His children? Matthew 6:26. Sure He cares about our happiness. To me, there is no doubt in my mine regarding that.

I do want to say this though. It’s our responsibility to try and live happy and not just sit around waiting for Jesus to cause us to be happy. In Him is complete truth, so we should be happy about that. However, to live a happy life everyday takes intention. We have to be intentional in our thinking. In fact, we have to take control of our imaginations and emotions especially as we think and feel about people and situations. If we don’t, we will automatically find ourselves in a deeply negative and discouraging frame of mind.

Let’s face it, it is easy to complain. It is easy to see fault and it is easy to participate in gossip. It is easy you-dont-become-happy-by-pursuing-happiness-you-become-happy-by-living-a-life-that-means-something-quote-1 to mumble and whine. It is easy to get disgusted, discouraged and down-right angry. It takes little to no effort for any of these emotions to happen. What takes effort is to not complain, not gossip, not mumble or whine. Think about it! It takes a considerable amount of effort to resist being discouraged, disgusted and angry. In fact, I have to tell myself when I find myself going down that rabbit-hole to stop it. Sometimes I have to be firm with myself and say it out loud—-STOP IT. It’s called taking your thoughts captive.

Did you know that the Bible reminds us to do just that? “We demolish arguments and every pretension that set itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.’ .2 Corinthians 10:5. See?

Listen, do you live a happy life? Do you want to? Does God care if you live happy? I say that He does care. In Ecclesiastes 3:12, it says this: “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.”

I couldn’t agree more!

What Are You Lacking?

February 24, 2016 ~ authorlasharnda ~ 2 Comments

Are you like me and once you have attained one thing, you are on to the next? Is your life about one accomplishment after the other?

I sometimes sit back and look at all that I have accumulated over the years. I think about my successes. I dream about where I came from and where God has brought me to. I contemplate all the challenges that I have had to face over time and I am overwhelmed and I am grateful.

Taking inventory in an exercise that I believe many of us can benefit from. When I take the time to reflect on all that I have, all that I have accomplished and all my blessings, I immediately feel stupid asking God to bless me with anything else. Shouldn’t I stop asking for stuff and just start thanking Him for all that I have right now? How can I get up and walk out looking for the next thing when He has blessed me with so many things already? I lack nothing.

Then there are times that I stop and think about faith; my faith. I love that I have it. My faith has guided my life for a long time. At times I have wondered if one of the reasons I am so serious about what I believe and in how I practice what I believe, is due to how blessed my life has been. One might think that I have had it easy but you would be wrong. I have had my share of troubles too. However, I have learned some valuable lessons from those troubles; I have learned that they built my faith.

I believe that’s the point of the difficulties and challenges. We can either collapse under the weight or we can stand tall, believing in God and trusting in ourselves and our abilities because He is with us. Difficulties and challenges don’t always create a lack of something, instead it fulfills a divine purpose; we grow stronger and stronger with each challenge.

Without challenges and difficulties we become weak like a muscle that hasn’t been exercised in a while. If you exercise everyday, you have probably noticed that by doing so you get stronger and depending on the type of exercise, like running, your stamina increases. The more you do whatever you do, the better you become at it. When I first started running, I could barely run a mile but now, after doing it for a while and doing it consistently, it is easy for me to run 6 miles a day. Why? I have stamina.

Faith has to be exercised too. If it is never tried or tested, you don’t have a need to use it. You will lack strength. Some say that they have faith until something happens, but that’s when the real test of your faith begins. That’s when you can see what you are made of. You can figure out quickly if you can go the miles that it might take.

We freak out when we are tested because whatever it is we are facing there is this fear of lack. We think that we cannot face it because we lack the capabilities or the capacity to handle the test.

I have good news for you, we don’t have to fear lack. God has everything we need.Our part is to trust Him and to have faith that He will deliver. The only way you can build faith is to exercise it. How do you do that? Pray, Read your Bible and surround yourself with others who may be more disciplined, more consistent and more positive. Then practice trusting God. I trust that He will work things out as they should be. Don’t you?

New Beginnings…

January 24, 2016January 25, 2016 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Can you feel it in the air? I can. There is something new and fresh that is about to happen and I can just feel it.

I get excited when I think about all of the blessings of the past, but I am

excited about what the future holds.

As I have thought about this year of new beginnings, the scripture in Isaiah comes to mind. God says that He is about to do something new; it can be a new life, a new relationship, vision, hope, dreams or opportunities. Will you be ready?

As you enter this year, are you entering it with an attitude of optimistic expectations or are you locked into your past, holding onto all the disappointments that you experienced? Will you walk into this year with the attitude that says to anyone near you that you are going to move mountains, live out your dreams and take a more positive and assertive position in pursuing God’s will for your life or have you decided that whatever happens to you is God’s will and what will be will be? Are you bent on holding onto negative attitudes? Are you comfortable with being passive, waiting for life to hand you your dreams?

11690912-attitude-is-everything-text-written-with-chalk-on-a-blackboard

I don’t know which of these descriptions describe you, but I do know that you don’t have to let anyone lock you into a box. If the latter has been you in the past, it doesn’t matter and you do not have to continue that way. You can decide to change the channel of your life.

I have gained great insight into the psyche of people over the years. I can almost intuitively figure out those who are just talk versus the ones who are a little envious of others. I can even tell the ones who will say they are going to do something and will get it is done no matter what versus those who say the same thing and will never make one move toward doing anything.

Success, whether in our personal or professional lives, can be measured by our attitudes. God tells us that He has a plan and purpose for each of us, do we believe Him? He also says that He is about to do something new, do we optimistically look forward to it? Or do we brush it off as just historical sayings or stories of Old Testament Prophets? I am crazy enough to believe Him and maybe that’s why my life seems to experience abundant blessings. I not only believe Him, I expect Him to do something new. Heck, it’s already starting.

Don’t allow your blessings to slip away because you want to hold onto a pessimistic and naysayer-type attitude. Look for opportunities that may be right in front of you if you would look for them. A new thing is going to happen for you. Not because of magic or anything like that. A new thing will happen if you move towards thinking positive, speaking positive, and acting in a way that will attract the positive things you rightly deserve in life. Hey, He is about to do a new thing, can’t you feel it?

This Year Can Be Different…

January 1, 2016 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Every year starts with lots of New Year’s resolutions. In fact, all kinds of goals are set. Resolutions range from fitness to career to relationship goals. Many begin the year with all good intentions but for some reason, not too long into the year, those resolutions begin to fade into the background as every day life issues begin to happen. Before you know it, you are at the end of the year again, only to look around and find that none of those resolutions you intended to achieve during the year never got started.

Disappointment set in. Then you become discouraged and ask yourself why. Maybe you try to ignore that you didn’t even try after your initial resolution was made, so you get a little perturbed with yourself. You might even blame yourself for not being disciplined enough to ever master your resolutions. Well, don’t beat yourself up because you can do better. Yes, you can even if you have tried over and over again. It’s never too late to start again. You should never stop trying because I truly believe that you will eventually get the right process in place that will work for you. That is, if you won’t quit.

However, I will tell you this; it takes more than making resolutions each year to actually achieve them. You have to put some strategy in place. You see, sometimes New Year’s resolutions do not work because they are not well thought out. They are just thoughts that haven’t been formulated to be achieved. When New Year’s resolutions are made, generally, the person making them are just picking something fun to do or they may be frustrated with some area of their lives, so out of frustration, they pull these types of resolutions out of the air and then announce what they “hope” they can master in the new year. Because they haven’t put any thought to the actual resolution, it fizzles out along the way. When no results are seen, frustration, maybe even anger or disillusionment sets in and then you begin to tell yourself that New Year’s resolutions never work anyway. You are right. If they are handled haphazardly, they don’t.

So how to do you ensure that this year’s resolutions don’t turn out the way your previous ones have turned out? Do things differently this year. Begin your year with pen and paper. Write down your goals, put timelines and actions that need to be taken in order to achieve them. If you do these small actions, you will have better results.

Don’t let this year be just another year of loose resolutions when it comes to the things you want to see happen for you this year. Write down your top 3-5 goals for the year. Think through them. Make sure your goals are SMART, which means specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-based. If they are, you are off to a great start.

This year can be different and you can achieve your goals. I don’t care how many times you may have missed the mark before. Don’t you dare stop trying. Like with anything, the more you try, the more you practice, the better you become. You may not have been the best at achieving your resolutions in the past, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t eventually. Maybe, you simply need to change your process.

Are you ready to live the life you always dreamed of? Are you ready to do the work, be committed and never give up until you see the results you want to see? Well, that takes time, its takes real commitment, diligence and determination. Most of all, it takes you not listening to others or to your inner voice that may tell you that you failed before, why try now. I tell you why, because you want to be better and you want to do better. As long as you have the desire to do so, you can.

This year can be different, but you have to be different too. So get started the very first day and keep at it everyday for the rest of the year. You are bound to see better results. Remember, I am rooting for you!

God bless you in the New Year and may He help you with your resolutions too.

Stop Second -Guessing Yourself

December 27, 2015December 28, 2015 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever made a decision only to go back to it over and over again wondering whether you made the right one or not? I have.

Like you, I have made so many life decisions. Especially when it comes to my professional life. I have always been driven to succeed. To me, I take a no hole bars approach to my life. I take an attitude of “the sky is the limit” approach.

Earlier in life, I would just make a decision without thinking of the consequences and go for it; many times it worked out. I think God knew I was young and silly, so He sent angels to watch out for me (at least that’s what I have told myself throughout the years). Later in life I learned the importance of praying before I made a decision. I had heard others say that people do things and pray about it afterwards, asking God to bless it, when they should have prayed about it ahead of time to see if it was God’s will. That made sense to me so that has been my practice ever since hearing it. On the big important things, it was especially critical for me to stop and pray first before moving forward.

Once I have prayed about it and waited to hear from God, I feel good about moving forward. Here’s the problem though. Suppose you prayed and felt that you heard from God, so you moved forward believing it was Him only to find yourself going back and forth re-thinking or even regretting your decision? What if you made the wrong decision? What if you didn’t hear from God as you thought you did? What if?

Let me help you with this issue. I went through this just recently. I made a life-changing decision that would affect not only me, but my family. I prayed and prayed and made my decision only to question whether I had made the right one. Early one morning during prayer as I talked to God about my insecurities, what came to me was this: “Stop second-guessing yourself.”

Hmmm. It think it came to me from the Holy Spirit because I was saying to God that I had prayed and prayed and felt I had His answer and now I don’t know. When I looked at other elements of my decision, I thought to myself well this change puts a dent in my 5 year plan, yet, I wanted to go with the decision I had made. I needed to make sure God had blessed it. As I sat in my “prayer chair” again, the words resonated in my mind, “stop second-guessing yourself.” I smiled because I accepted what I was hearing.

The word TRUST carved into a stone wall. 3D render with HDRI lighting and raytraced textures.

Many times you will make the best possible decisions you can with the information you have. You do your best to do what’s right. What happens is people who don’t want you to do something or maybe they want you to themselves, will speak things into your life that make you second-guess yourself. On the other hand, your mind will play tricks on you and have you question your decision and if you are not careful, fear will consume you. When that happens, tell yourself what is written in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline.” If you have to say it over and over again, do that.

Anxiety is natural when you are making major life-changing decisions. The question becomes, do you want to live a life that is full and purposeful or will you allow fear to stop you from fulfilling your destiny? When you make decisions, always pray about them first, wait to hear from God and when you believe you have and He says it’s okay, then move. If he says no, then stay. If He says okay and you are fearful to move, ask yourself, “Am I telling God that you don’t trust Him?” I am sure you don’t want to say that, but your actions are.

Stop second-guessing yourself. Trust God and trust yourself.

An Issue of The Heart

December 20, 2015 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

I ordered these killer boots from Amazon that were to be delivered on Saturday. Doorbell rang, my husband goes to the door. UPS had delivered an order. My husband brings the box inside and hands it to me because it had my name on it.

I tell him thank you and when I opened the box, I found a pair of young girl size 6 Nike shoes from Zappos. UPS mis-delivered so I pick up my phone and call Zappos to tell them that someone will be looking for these shoes. I asked them how I could get the shoes back to Zappos or the intended customer. The lady on the line says, “Oh thank you so much for being honest” (I hate it when people say that to me) and then she told me what to do next. Easy right? It was. However, during the course of our conversation she said, “you probably want to check to see if something was supposed to be delivered to you today from Amazon because we share truck space with them!” Oh no, I thought and then I went into panic mode. I was expecting these “Killer Boots” today!

I logged onto the Amazon site and looked at all my orders, you guessed it, my boots were marked “delivered today” so I frantically began writing to Amazon about the mix-up. Eventually I spoke to a young woman over the phone. She was really nice, I can’t say that I was pleasant to deal with. I was only focused on my boots. Where were my boots is all that was turning in my head. She continued in a pleasant manner and readily gave me a refund, but I still wasn’t happy. I didn’t want my money back, I wanted MY boots! I was frustrated and unhappy. My husband tried to ask me questions and I was snippy. My son was instant messaging me and I was telling him what had happened, which got me even more frustrated the more I typed. I think he sensed my attitude and stopped. I could feel my blood pressure rising. My grandson sat quietly on the couch playing on his IPAD but watching this scenario play out. Occasionally he would look at me and say, “Grandma, you ok?” I explained to him my side and he listened sweetly but I am sure he didn’t understand why I was letting this situation get to me.

During the course of all of this, I looked to see if I could simply re-order the boots. No, because the boots were no longer available in my color on Amazon at all. I looked out on Google to see what stores carried it. I went to the Nordstrom site, Macys, Dillards, and everywhere I looked for that boot it had sold out! Not one single site had that boot; not one! I was becoming consumed with a boot.
I finally felt the nudge from the Holy Spirit say to me, “Stop. If these boots are for you, you will get them, but maybe they are not for you.” I looked around at my husband and grandson sitting quietly and calmly and thought to myself, what’s wrong with you? You are acting like a spoiled brat. Those boots don’t matter; they do.

I turned off my computer and got up and went to a quiet place to calm my spirit and pray. I went to a place that I would be able to relax and reflect. I went to my room. I could hear the dialogue going on in my mind. It went like this. Don’t you dare allow “boots” to get to you. Look around. Look at what you have; you have so much to be thankful for; don’t you dare let boots create an attitude that will affect the mood of this house.

That was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. That’s why I say that we can choose. We can choose how we respond to negative and frustrating situations or how we respond to frustrating people. I know the Holy Spirit will do His job, our job is not only to listen, but to obey. In the big scheme of things, do material things matter? The answer is no. It’s that simple. A relationship with God and others is what matters most.

Happy Attitudes = Happy Lives

September 26, 2015September 26, 2015 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Ecclesiastes 3:12 reads “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.” See, there it is!

One writer stated “The goal of every Christian should not be happiness because the Bible never promises happiness to the believer but joy, that is a totally different story. While happiness is temporary and is based upon happenings, joy is from the Lord and you can still experience joy during trials, suffering, and testing. Joy is permanent but happiness is fleeting.”

I understand what this writer is saying, but isn’t this just semantics? I don’t disagree, but I don’t think we have to get hung up on this either. In fact, I feel if we are going to disagree on something, it should not be on whether or not God wants us to live a life of happiness?

11690912-attitude-is-everything-text-written-with-chalk-on-a-blackboard We should not be fighting over this. So why do we? Is it just easier to sit and fight and to be negative?

Do you think that God designed us to with the attitude of negativity? No, He did not. In fact, the Bible tells us in Philippians to think on things that are good, pure, honest, all of these are positive thoughts. I know that it takes intentional effort to be positive, that’s why Romans 12:2 tells us that it is important to transform our minds and that’s what the Holy Spirit does for us. He helps us to draw from His strength when we would automatically default to the negatives in this world. When our minds are transformed and when we focus on what we are thinking about, I think we will work hard to stop random negative thoughts from becoming permanent negative thoughts that become our daily lives.

The Bible tells us “there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good.” I bet the happiness that is talked about here is not seeking to live our lives out of selfish gain, nor out of stepping on others to get to the top, nor is it in fame and popularity; neither is it just an emotional state that one feels just because something good happened. I think the end of the scripture really tells us how we will live a life that is happy and positive; a life that rejects negativity. We do it in being productive and not idle. We live happy by working and seeing the works of our hands, whether it is something tangible or intangible we produce.

When we reach out and touch the lives of others and when we add to the lives of others, those kinds of acts bring about joy and joy produces happiness in our lives. Happy attitudes result in happy lives. So, can we actually accomplish what is stated in Ecclesiastes 3? I think so. That, too, begins with our attitudes towards work and life

Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith

It's Your Life; Own It. No Blame, No Excuses

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