#Jesussaves

Refuse Fear of Rejection…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Philippians-4-8-KJV-Finally-brethren-whatsoever-things-are-true--I50004008-L01

Have you ever walked into a room and felt you didn’t belong? I understand. I can recall entering meetings and feeling that nobody wanted me there. The glances, looks, or furrowed brows graced the faces of some people present. When I was young, these looks, internally, spiraled me into a series of negative thoughts. I have never thought of myself as not good enough, but I have felt that others felt I wasn’t worthy of acknowledgment. During those times, I sometimes struggled to bring my attention to the purpose of the meeting because of their looks.

Perceived rejection is a terrible thing to deal with. Perceived rejection is assuming rejection before it has happened. Some people are genius at pre-rejecting themselves on someone else’s behalf. These same folks will interpret the squint of the eyes as disapproval and the purse of the lips as annoyance toward them; they assume they are already rejected. Therefore, they embrace behavior that leads them into a cycle of rejecting themselves and others to protect themselves. 

Why do you think falling prey to unfit feelings and destructive behaviors is so easy? If God says we are made in His perfect image, why do we automatically accept that we are not good enough? I tell you why. It’s the human condition! When we get stuck in patterns of pre-rejection, we wrestle with these. We assume the worst about ourselves and others. Our focus drills inward until we see ourselves through a rejected lens. It takes us down a path of assumptions, leading to misunderstandings and broken relationships. God wants us to know who we are in Christ; chosen, approved, desired, and disciplined. Yet, we readily accept the opposite about ourselves because of the reactions from others.

While many of us have external struggles, we also deal with internal battles. The mind is one of the most incredible places of conflict, where external battles are won or lost, and pre-rejection steals our peace and promotes anxious thoughts, influencing our actions and attitudes. Remember, all these thoughts and conflicts are being waged in our minds and seen in our attitudes and actions. So, we must start with our minds in overcoming these feelings of rejection.

Romans 12:2 tells us to “be transformed by the renewal” of our minds.“ Paul encouraged the Philippians to guard their hearts. Protecting our hearts promotes peace within ourselves and our relationships, but just like anything else, we must put in the effort. Our minds naturally run along negative tracks, but we can retrain our thoughts. 

Start by looking for the good in others. Realize when you assume that someone has rejected you, you may be projecting your fear of rejection onto them. They might be frowning in my direction, not because of you, but because of something in their life. Do I still experience anxiety in spaces where people don’t like me? Yep, I do. Do I shut down, close off, and reject them? Sometimes. I am still working on myself.

Faith and Optimism: Navigating Uncertain Times with Hope

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

It is springtime! I always love it when we get to this time of the year, especially this year, as we come out of the restrictions imposed in 2020. Like me, I am sure you never thought we would experience a pandemic in our lifetime. However, here we are. Not only is the world dealing with the ramifications of the pandemic, but we have also watched a stabilized nation become destabilized and people who were living everyday lives, all of a sudden, displaced.

ThinkOnTheseThings-600x439-2

 


I don’t know about you, but if I wasn’t so focused on being optimistic about the future, I could find myself in a place of despair. From 2020 until now, I can count the various things that could cause people to want to give up. I want to encourage you to hold on, have faith, trust God, and believe times will change for the better. Is that pie-in-the-sky? Maybe. I intend always to offer hope because my faith demands it.

One of my favorite scriptures encourages just that; to have faith. I know times have been hard. We have been challenged repeatedly over the last two years, but we cannot give up if we want to live full lives again. Do you? I do. As long as I live here on this earth, I intend to live life to the fullest. When there has been a window to travel, I did. When I had the opportunity to go out and eat dinner with friends, I have, and when I could go to a store, spa, or office, I was thrilled to do so. Because we need each other and isolation helps no one. I believe isolation sets up the environment for emotional and mental harm. I love my solitude, but I also recognize the dangers of too much isolation. It is easy to fall into dark spaces when no outside voice is there to remind you of your goodness. Sometimes, we need to be reminded of the possibilities and look forward to a better and brighter tomorrow.

Oprah said, “The future is so bright that it hurts my eyes?” That is what we have had to remember during days of chaos. And we must remind ourselves of the happy days ahead, whether we see them or not, believe they are there. Never forget that we are what we think and what we think begins with what we allow our minds to consume. To ensure our minds are optimistic, we must be selective and intentional. How can we ensure we have the correct thinking? Look to the scriptures. Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on these things.”

I don’t know about you, but I believe the future is so bright, it hurts my eyes!

Be Courageous, Be Strong, Be Confident

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Is it just me, or does it feel like a shift happening in the atmosphere? After a full year of isolation, these past couple of weeks have felt as if a heavy load has been lifted, if only a little. IF you ever lifted weights, you know what I mean when I say, I know I need the heavy weights to build my stamina. However, as the repetitions begin, I look forward to lowering the size of the weights I am lifting. Even one pound lighter brings about a sense of relief.be strong and courageous2

Sometimes when I am using heavier weights, the pressure of having to lift them can be awful. I also know that there will be a benefit later to me lifting those heavy weights. Sometimes, I get frustrated and discouraged by the grueling task of lifting weights and dread the days I have to do them. But I do them anyway.

The last several weeks have felt like a weight has lifted. This week was simply outstanding. I continue to look at what I do day in and day out as something God has called me to do. I know when so many things tugging for my attention, it is easy, sometimes, to forget that God called me to the place I am, whether that is writing this Blog, speaking to a group, or interacting with people I lead.

But what happens when the weight seems to be too much? Do you give up? Do you walk away? No. Why? Because you do not have to handle the weight alone. That weight can be felt in the form of attacks, physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually. The weight can feel so severe that you question your sanity. The attacks can be so overwhelming that you wonder if you have the strength or courage to stand for another battle. Also, something you know God called you to do can come into question. Not Him questioning you, but you doubt you or others wondering about whether you can cut it.

That’s why, for me, reading my Bible daily and praying are essential. I have had acquaintances tell me that they cannot read the same scriptures repeatedly because they become bored. I don’t judge them for that—they love God too. I tell them, for me, I read God’s Word repeatedly so that I am reminded not to be discouraged. Listen, there are people just like you and me in scripture who faced some of the same issues we deal with today: isolation (Elijah), fear (Jonah/Gideon/Esther/Daniel); depression (Jonah), anxiety (Peter), insecurity (Gideon), self-doubt (Moses). Shall I go on? These great warriors of the Bible were human beings just like you and me. They dealt with the same stuff. Their courage did not come from within; it came from someone greater. The God of the universe heard their prayers and gave them what they needed to succeed. God gave prophets and apostles the courage they needed to face the past, face impossible situations, take significant risks, and not give in. Some gathered courage from God speaking directly to them, while others gained it through others.

This month of May, where we celebrate Mother’s Day and Memorial Day in the United States, I am focused on irrevocable-gifts-callingJoshua 1:8-9. I memorized these scriptures as a teenager. There are times I go back to them to remind myself why it is essential for me to read scriptures time and again. Listen to what the scripture says: “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then, you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” These scriptures are powerfully encouraging.

So, I say to you today, Be courageous, be strong, be confident at the place and position you have been assigned. You never know; you may have come to your place and position for such a time as this. Regardless of how others see you or judge you, the Word of God says of you—” Your gifts and calling are irrevocable.” You are very much needed where you are. Trust God to give you the courage to face any insecurities and fears. Trust Him to help you battle with your giant. Trust Him to show you what risks you need to take, and never, ever give up praying to God even when others do not understand you or threaten your peace of mind. Hold on to the same deep faith Daniel had in the Lion’s Den.