Love Without Conditions…

July 29, 2015July 29, 2015 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

I read someone’s post recently that listed a whole bunch of things for his reader’s consideration. He said that someone asked him what advice would he give to his children. He listed so many considerate, loving and well-articulated things he would tell his children;. Clearly he loved them. But out of all the things he listed, what resonated with me the most was “love without condition”. During the time I read his letter, I had just received mail from someone telling me of an issue in their family with a teenager.This parent was clearly upset and so totally disappointed with what had just happened. I had already responded to the friend and then I read this guy’s post. I immediately thought about the situation that had just been described to me and although I had pretty much said the same thing, the phrase “love without condition” would not leave me alone.

I began to think about it. I pondered it and asked, What is “love without condition” anyway? Well, immediately Jesus came to my mind. He is the only person that I can think of who ever loved without condition. He loved humanity so much that He died for us. Yet, there are so many in this world who refuse to believe it. They say that this is just a story that someone made up. That Jesus was indeed a good man, but there is no way that he is the Savior of the world. My simple response? But He is. You might say, prove it. I can’t. I just believe.

I believe that Jesus is the ultimate example of unconditional love. He reached beyond His little home town, His little team of disciples, He reached beyond His own people, the Jews, to embrace and include people that nobody else would even dare sit with. Hey, but Jesus did. Jesus didn’t mind being around hookers, drunks, the lowest of the low, He didn’t mind sitting with women or people of different races, because He loved without conditions. He forgave regularly and He knew how to meet people where they were without condemning them. He loved them without conditions.

You might say, well, there are conditions, you have to change your life to be a Follower of Jesus; to be a Christian. No, that’s not true. I was messed up, like many others, and He accepted me as I was and then as time went on, my life began to change because I wanted to change. Unless you have lived in some secluded & remote place where you have never had to interact with others or you have only been around people who are exactly like you, maybe you don’t know that. But even you and those like you, are not perfect. When you met Jesus, you were not then and you are not now! Yet He still loved and continues to love you. In fact, the Bible says, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

I am not going to even pretend that I have mastered, nor that I am anywhere near loving unconditionally, but I hope that each day I get a little better at being loving, patient, & kind,. I hope that step by step I can become what we are told to become by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 :4-7 when he says, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Hey, that’s a picture of what unconditional love looks like! And unconditional love is not just for the people we like, it’s for everybody no matter color, gender, creed or (wait for it….!) sexual orientation. We are to love people and let God handle the rest. Look, don’t judge me because I believe in loving others regardless of where they are. Hey, my sin and your sin may be different, but it’s still sin.

Your Dreams are Important…

June 18, 2015 ~ authorlasharnda ~ 2 Comments

Have you ever seriously considered the gifts that God has given you? Have you ever just sat quietly and contemplated what you have and why you have a particular gift? Do you honor God by doing something with what He has given you or do you find yourself sitting, looking or comparing yourself with those around you? Do you look at your friends and secretly resent that they seem to be achieving every single goal that they set? Do you feel a little jealous when a co-worker seems to be able to accomplish one thing after the other? Do you look at yourself and feel inadequate? Well, stop! You are gifted too. You have your own road to travel to get to where you want to be just like the person you are comparing yourself to.

When they achieve their dreams the process isn’t any easier or harder for them as it is for you. The difference is they are focused on achieving their dreams and using their gifts. Are you? Or are you sitting on the sidelines watching them?

I always say that one of the many reasons why dreams aren’t met and success isn’t accomplished, is a real simple one; we are too focused on watching what someone else is doing, comparing ourselves to them and then worrying about what they have accomplished compared to what we have accomplished.

Hey, God gave you your own dreams. If He hasn’t given you the talents to accomplish them yet, you can bet that He will; He’s probably preparing you right now. In fact, Hebrews 13:21 tells us that He has given us gifts that are special. Did you know that? I believe the Bible!

I also believe that just as we have spiritual gifts, God has put dreams in our hearts that are just for us. When we pursue those dreams, I think we are pursuing a destiny designed in God’s grand plan.

Here is some news for you; you can choose to pursue those dreams and do so with an attitude that what God has begun in you, He will complete it or you can watch others pursuing theirs and comparing what they are doing versus what you are doing and just stay stuck where you are. I don’t think that pleases God though and watching others certainly does not do anything to keep you on a forward movement path.

If you aren’t careful, you will become consumed with what others are doing. How does that fulfill your own purpose? It doesn’t. Watching others and comparing yourself to what they have accomplished and what you haven’t, only causes you to question your abilities. It stresses you out. You can become obsessed with their achievements and begin to doubt if you are even capable of achievement. Yet, we can agree based on scripture, that God has given you the ability to do just that; achieve His divine purpose for your life.

Look, your dreams were given to you for you only. My dreams were given to me for me only. You can decide that you will pursue yours and I can decide that I will or will not pursue mine. The point is simple, your journey is yours to travel just as mine is mine to travel. We can trust God to give us the strength, talents, gifts and abilities to achieve our dreams and goals and to finish the race or we can sit back and be distracted by all sorts of things that won’t help us finish our race at all.

One thing that is sure, true and constant and that is, God is God. Whatever gifts He has given is ultimately for His glory. Choose if you intend to honor Him by trusting what dreams He put in you and believe that He is able to help you accomplish them.

Yes, your journey is yours and mine is mine, but all has been determined by God. The question is, what do you intend to do about it? Will you simply watch and compare or will you move forward trusting and obeying? Remember, the choice is yours…

Let “Status Quo” Be Uncomfortable

June 10, 2015 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Are you afraid to be uncomfortable? Good. I find that when I am uncomfortable living a regular, everyday life, I do something about it. I can’t sit still. I become restless and I have to do something. Anything! How about you?

There is a negative connotation associated with being restless. I don’t see it as negative. In fact, I think restlessness can be a good thing. For some, it is negative but for others, restlessness pushes us to action. I say, restlessness can be stressful, but it can also be liberating.

In my book, It’s Your Life; Own It. No blame, No Excuses, one of the things I talk about is the importance of going after the life you really want. I talk about how important it is to decide on what it is you want and then to plot a course to achieving that goal. I talk about how some people will talk, talk and talk about what they want and they never do anything about getting what they want. They make excuse after excuse about why it is that they can’t do something. The make every excuse as to why something can’t be done and they blame everything that they can think of as the reasons why that don’t move towards the goal. When the real reasons may be as simple as being uncomfortable; taking a risk; doing something; anything.

Don’t you know of people who set goals and never achieve them? Me too. I have heard people say that they wanted to write a book or that they wanted to start a non-profit or that they wanted to start their own business, yet year after year, you see them and they are still saying the same things they said 3 years prior. You ask them what have they done to get closer to that goal and the answer is “nothing really.” Have you helped someone lay out a plan to do something only to see them months, sometimes years later, and they have not done a thing? Of course you have. I certainty have. Listen, they are happy being comfortable with the status quo; it’s that simple.

Are You A Goal-Setter or Goal-Achiever?

There is a big difference between a person who is a goal-setter and one who is a goal-achiever. There is a big difference between dreamers and achievers and there is a real big difference between those who always talk about what they want to accomplish and those who get out there and actually accomplish the thing they want. Do you know what the difference is? Comfort and Discomfort.

Many are comfortable living just as they are day after day. They claim that they want to do more and to achieve a stated goal, but it’s just talk. Then there are those who embrace discomfort; they are the risk-takers. They can’t imagine living day after day just dreaming their lives away. They would rather take a chance; they understand that failure can happen, but that does not scare them. God bless those who are happy with comfort. It’s okay if that’s what they want to do; if that’s how they choose to live. I just would prefer that they would recognize what they are doing and that they would stop talking about achieving a thing that they never intend to achieve. I wish they would recognize that they are living a fantasy and that’s okay too because it is their lives. I just don’t want them acting like the victim. It’s okay but it’s not what I want for my life and that’s okay too. I prefer to embrace being uncomfortable. I prefer taking risks. Because by doing so, I have stretched beyond my wildest dreams. I have accomplished things I never thought possible.

The challenge here is to decide what you want out of life. Recognize that most who are successful, take risks. They have learned to embrace the unknown and the uncomfortable. Remember, we all like the familiar; we all want to live in comfort, but what’s frightening about that is that I will end up living a status quo life. I am terrified that each day will become mundane and that I will wake up one day and would have not experienced so much that God placed inside of me. I would encourage you to think about what’s holding you back. Is it that you are happy nursing what you are comfortable with or are you willing to take a risk and do something that you have always wanted to do? Guess what? It’s up to you.

It’s Your Life; Own It…

God Is Faithful…

April 25, 2015 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Do you believe that God keeps His promises? Do you have problems believing that? Is it particularly hard to believe that when you have unanswered prayers.

These are questions that I know we all have struggled with at some point, but I am here to assure you that without a doubt, God keeps His promises.

I am sure you have had challenges in your life. If you haven’t, just wait. No, I am not going to speak anything negative over your life, but just living will offer each of us some challenge at some point. Some reason to wonder if God cares enough about us that He will do something about whatever it is that maybe consuming us.

Over the last month or so, I have experienced one challenge after another. I am not complaining and that’s probably why they haven’t overtaken me; nonetheless, I have had them. My stress level has been very high. Many days I have had to remind myself that I need to stop and take a break away from everything. You see even with those who may be strong Believers, we can still become overcome with stress and anxiety.

I was thinking about all that has gone on in my life over the last couple of months and all of a sudden, I felt that God spoke to my heart,“ God is faithful.” Those words were powerful and stuck with me. They stuck with me because things were about to turn from dark days to days of sunshine even as a tornado was about to pound upon this part of Texas.

The Word of God says, “All things work together for good to those who love God.” If we aren’t careful, those familiar verses can become ordinary; they can become just common sayings for Believers, but I want to caution against taking familiar passages for granted. God is God and we can count on Him. He has proved his faithfulness over and over again. He was faithful from the time I was born, through relationship issues, self -doubt, mistakes, through my illness in 2011 and through too many other challenges I have faced in my life. He will be faithful to you too. His faithfulness isn’t just for someone special because to Him, we are all very special.

Whatever you go through, whether it is a super duper surprise or something that was coming for a while, nothing is a surprise, nor is it so huge that it will overtake Him. Things happen in our lives, good and bad, to help mature us. Other times, things will happen to test us and at other times things happen to help us learn to

How Do You Stay Positive?

March 9, 2015 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Image result for image of positive black woman Is staying positive enough? You may ask, how in the world do I stay positive when so many things seem to be going wrong in my life and in the lives of those around me? Those are fair questions.

Staying positive may not change your circumstances, but it can change how you look at your circumstances. How you look at your circumstances makes all the difference in the world. If you can see the positive in whatever happens in your life, you can recover from the blow quicker. You can be happier and even healthier, because you won’t be easily overtaken with worry or stress. If you choose to see all that is wrong with the world and also see yourself as a victim, it’s easier to wallow in the situation.

I know that there are those who feel that telling someone to stay positive is just “feel good” talk. I have heard some say that they can’t have a positive attitude because they are just “wired” that way. They say that they can’t help but get negative. I get that it is easy to allow our minds and attitudes to default to negative. In fact, it maybe a natural reaction for those who do not think about their responses to life’s challenges. However, I also believe that the default doesn’t have to be negative. If you would recognize when you are in a stressful situation, that you have a choice in how you respond. Rather than allowing the situation to dictate it for you, think first and then decide how you will respond.

In my book, I emphasize the importance of learning how to stay positive. Begin by practicing positivity. If you don’t practice it, you will continue to default to negativity when the stress begins.

What we have to get through our minds is that no matter what others do to us; what circumstances we face, whether bad people or bad situations, someone else has faced the exact same thing before us, while we are going through it and there will be those who go through it after us. Some people have succeeded in spite of their circumstances and some have succumbed to their circumstances. The question becomes which of these two are you? If you cultivate a positive attitude, you will look more like the former rather than the latter.

I talk about BOOMS in my book. BOOMS are Bold Obstacles Over-taking Mind & Spirit. BOOMS happen to us all. It could be an illness that knocks you to your knees; it could be a broken relationship; devastations at work or in your home. When they happen, they can destroy you if you let them. They can shake your faith and can cause you to question your intellect, skills and abilities. BOOMS can make you question if you are good enough, smart enough or worth anything. When you recognize BOOMS for what they are, you can figure out how to handle them. You can determine that they will not destroy you. You will take control of your life and own it.

Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith

It's Your Life; Own It. No Blame, No Excuses

attitude