attitude

Renew Your Mind: The Power of God’s Word

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

We humans are such weird people. For no reason, we can break into tears just thinking of how God delivered us. This month, I turn my attention to spiritual warfare, which I think might or might not resonate with you.

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Years ago, I taught adult Sunday School and used Joyce Meyer’s book, The Battlefield of the Mind. I loved that book back then. Joyce always provides scripture to support her discussions, which is no different. She outlined some essential points: It is crucial to discern what we allow into our minds; it is vital to renew our minds; we need to be aware of mental strongholds and the importance of trusting in God. There are many scriptures, but there are two that I tend to feed myself regularly.

Romans 12:1-2, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then, you can test and approve God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will. Also, Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

I encourage you today to practice reciting scripture to yourself often. I don’t care how strong in the faith we think we are; when we are attacked, we are the most vulnerable to hearing white noise. We are weakened in body and mind due to worry, and that’s when the enemy will come in for the kill—reminding you how horrible you are or how naïve—telling you that everyone is against you and that when you don’t hear from anyone, you believe the lie.

If you plug into God’s Word, I am not saying you won’t struggle with self-doubt or insecurities. You will at some point. However, I learned by going through stuff that the Word of God gave me comfort and, in some instances, confidence. I came to say, Lord, whatever happens, I trust You. You may have to say this to yourself repeatedly, and that’s okay.

Remember, when you let your mind worry about all the “what-ifs,” push them out, fill your mouth with prayer, and speak the Word of God. “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them. For greater is He who is in you, than he that is in the world.” (1 John 4:4).

Finding Joy in Adversity: Overcoming Fear with Faith

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes, it’s hard to admit that we can feel joy when the pressures of life are pushing us down. You may be generally a happy and optimistic person, but you find yourself worried, preoccupied, frustrated, and suspicious.

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Over the last several weeks, I have had my share of all the above, which frustrates me when I pride myself on being optimistic about everything. Experiencing these emotions only shows that even though we think we are superhuman, we are not; we are simply human. We are not God; only He is.

In times of turmoil, my go-to habit is always the Bible. But doing that sometimes doesn’t bring relief. But there is something to the scripture in Psalm 30:5 that says, “Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes in the morning.” As much as I found myself overwhelmed for several weeks, suddenly, one day, I read a devotional that triggered a release in my spirit. It was Romans 8:28, “All things work together for good to those who love God. To those who are called according to His Purpose.”

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Like many others, I have known that scripture my entire life, but just as our elders would say, memorize scripture because the Holy Spirit will bring it back to you when needed. And that is precisely what happened.

The writer of that devotional reminded me that life’s journey has twists and turns. No path is always straight. However, at the end of the path, you and I will achieve His purpose. The writer talked about having Faith over fear—something I say a lot, but when it is you in the middle of something if we are not grounded in the joy of the Lord, fear can cripple us and overtake our Faith.

So, my breakthrough came on that Friday with the devotional. On Sunday, the message from my Pastor was loud and clear: 1 Thessalonians 5:16-22:
• Be joyful always
• Pray continuously
• Give thanks in all circumstances
• Don’t stifle the Holy Spirit
• Don’t scoff at prophesies
• Test everything that is said
• Hold onto what is good
• Stay away from what is evil

When I heard that message and heard the words Faith over fear, I knew these words were for me. So, I tell you today, when you feel overwhelmed and scared, speak Faith. Philippians 4:7 says, “Be anxious for nothing but in all things by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

So, if worry enters your mind, prayer should fill your mouth.

Overcoming Disappointment: Embracing Grace and Forgiveness

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

I will never ask if you have been disappointed; that question would be ridiculous. Disappointments are as inevitable as breathing. They come with living. And I understand that, although they can be life-changing, they do not have to destroy you.

overcoming

Like me, you can yell from the mountaintop that you have had your share of disappointments. We can agree that the most hurtful comes from those closest to you. Let’s be honest; we expect more from those who know our struggles. Those who we feel know our most intimate and most challenging life experiences. So, when they hurt us, it cuts deep. It takes a long time to heal and bounce back. We also ask ourselves, “why” as we question the occurrence. Wondering not only “why” but “what” did we miss?

Well, you missed nothing, and you missed everything. You missed nothing because you trusted your friends. They were your closet and dearest. You missed everything because there were probably hints that you chose to ignore. And why wouldn’t you? They are your friends, of course.

Do you remember a man that many of us admire and follow? He was humble, gentle, kind, and loving. He shared His innermost thoughts with His closest circle, those He could trust. Yet, even after they walked with Him daily, slept beside Him each night, ate with Him, cried with Him, laughed with Him, and ministered beside Him, not one but all of His closest confidantes betrayed, denied, and abandoned Him. You know as well as I that this person was Jesus, a figure known for his resilience and forgiveness in the face of disappointment. I wouldn’t say I like comparing myself or anyone to Him. However, we can look to Him as our example.

What did He do when He knew Judas Iscariot was about to betray Him? He said, “Hurry, and go do what you need to do.” This response, while seemingly accepting of the betrayal, was actually a demonstration of Jesus’s grace and forgiveness. When Peter boasted about never leaving Jesus, what did Jesus say? “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” Peter was indignant and argued that it would never happen, yet it did. Matthew 26:21-35
“Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.” And they began to say to him one after another, “Surely not I, Lord?” … Then Jesus said to them, “You will all become deserters because of me this night.” Peter said to him, “Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And so said all the disciples.”

Despite these disappointments, knowing they would happen, Jesus dealt graciously. He even washed their feet! Can I do that? In my younger years, no. Today, I may be able to. What is true to me is that disappointments grow us. They mature us, give us experience, and help us rise higher. There is hope and growth on the other side of disappointment.If you are dealing with disappointment today, know that Jesus dealt with it, too. The Bible tells us that “He was in every way tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:19.

I say, feel hurt, grieve the betrayal, heal, and move on. God has something better waiting for you when you are ready. You are not alone .

Lacking Confidence?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever looked at some people, and they just seemed to exude confidence? Yeah, I have, too. Have you ever wondered why some have no problem stepping up and taking on any challenge without worries while others shy away? Are you one of those who lacks confidence, and privately, you wonder why you cannot overcome the fear of not being “good enough?” Also, when does self-confidence become arrogance?

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There are so many questions with one answer. It all begins with God. If you start with God as your foundation, you will surely build self-confidence rather than arrogance. How would you know? The Holy Spirit will remind you.

Now, how do you build confidence? It begins with God also.
The first thing that comes to mind is the scripture that reminds us that we are made in God’s image. Another. one says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” And another tells us that “God’s gifts and calling are irrevocable.” So, if you begin with what the word of God says about you and fill your mind with these things rather than the harmful noise, you can build confidence.

This month, I want to emphasize the profound significance of believing in yourself, staying the course, and embracing confidence and consistency on the journey to success. As we navigate life’s challenges, a timeless wisdom is found in scripture that resonates with these principles.

Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our understanding. This scripture is a foundation for self-belief, urging us to believe in our abilities even when faced with uncertainties. The path to success often requires us to trust our capabilities, but I reject that. We must trust God first and then believe He cares about the things that concern us and will help us achieve our dreams and goals.

As we go through life, we will face obstacles, but faith, perseverance, and resilience can lead to eventual success. Staying true to our goals, even in the face of adversity, is a testament to God’s power working through us.

I can do all things

Confidence and consistency find a voice in Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” This verse highlights the empowerment that comes from a confident belief in God and confidence in oneself, coupled with the consistency of effort. Remember, our abilities are amplified when rooted in faith and sustained through dedicated consistent action.

As you pursue your aspirations, remember to draw inspiration from the scriptures. They emphasize belief, perseverance, and confidence. Remember, by believing in ourselves, staying the course, and being confident and consistent, we unlock the door to a future where success is not just a destination but a journey of growth and fulfillment.

What Is It About Me?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever found yourself pondering the enigmatic question, “What is it about me?” It’s a question that tends to surface when relationships crumble right before our eyes, leaving us with a sense of confusion and heartache. We wonder why people betray us, and we may even question what could be inherently wrong with us. The quest to understand the root of this issue can be both introspective and revealing.

First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge that the notion of betrayal is a complex and multifaceted aspect of human relationships. It often stems from various factors, such as miscommunication, unmet expectations, and personal insecurities. While it’s easy to internalize these experiences and wonder what we did wrong, it’s crucial to remember that betrayal is not always a reflection of our worth or character.

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Scripture provides wisdom and comfort during times of personal reflection and adversity. In times of doubt and introspection, we can turn to my favorite book, the Bible, in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight.” This scripture reminds us that while we may question ourselves and our circumstances, ultimately, trust in God can provide clarity and guidance.

Self-reflection is an essential step in understanding the dynamics of our relationships. It can help us identify patterns in our interactions with others and reveal areas where we may need personal growth or improvement. However, this should not be a journey of self-blame or self-criticism, but rather an opportunity for self-awareness and self-empowerment.

When you find yourself asking, “What is it about me?” don’t do so blaming yourself for whatever went wrong. Instead, reframe your thoughts and consider the following:

  • Misunderstandings can lead to strained relationships. Reflect on your communication style. I didn’t say change it, but consider how you communicate. I know I have to do so regularly.
  • Unrealistic or unspoken expectations can lead to disappointment and feelings of betrayal.
  • Self-esteem and self-worth play a significant role in how we perceive and respond to betrayal. I have a strong sense of self and that helps me navigate challenging situations more confidently.
  • Betrayal can erode trust, making it difficult to establish healthy connections. I remind myself often that I have trust issues and that causes me to keep my guard up. Consider how trust issues may have affected your relationships and what steps you can take to rebuild trust.
  • Use the experience of betrayal as an opportunity for personal growth. Embrace the lessons learned, and seek ways to become a better version of yourself.
  • Sometimes, seeking guidance from a trusted friend or therapist can provide valuable insights and support in understanding your role in relationships and any recurring patterns.

Remember that relationships are a two-way street. While self-reflection is essential, it’s equally important to recognize that betrayal often arises from the complexities of both parties involved. Ultimately, asking “What is it about me?” can be a catalyst for personal growth and healthier, more fulfilling relationships. It’s a question that can lead to self-discovery and a deeper understanding of the intricate dynamics of human connections.

Over the years, I have always had my guard up. People who knew me understood the guarded me and just accepted it. But there has always been a good reason to guard me, because true to form, people I would let it, would end up betraying me. Most times, I would accept the betrayal as another lesson learned, but there have been times when I had to ask myself, “What is it about me?”

Overcoming Fake Friends…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment
losing fake friends

Don’t Be Surprised When People you thought supported you never really did. This type of fake friendship became very clear to me recently. Although I probably secretly already knew deep down, they did not care for me but chose to ignore my gut. Anyway, I think we always know if someone likes us or not. We sense if they are indeed our friends or not. We know based on their actions or inactions. Yes, we know because our gut or intuition warns us.

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Yet, It always surprises me when people are shocked when their betrayer finally shows their true face. Honestly, I am never shocked anymore. When it happens, I go with it. Okay, so I may be caught off guard for a minute, but I was never shocked to find that some of the people I trusted didn’t care for me.

So, what do we do when we feel betrayed? Learn and not blame. Learn from the experience, but do not wallow in self-pity. And for God’s sake, don’t blame yourself for not seeing it sooner. Also, do not ask yourself, “Why?” or “What did you do?” If you did something, yes, apologize, but more likely than not, you did nothing.

Generally, we are raised to give people the “benefit of the doubt,” so when we see signs like them joking about us, making passive-aggressive comments towards us, etc., our gut warns us, but we tend to ignore it. Also, we don’t want to assume bad things about others.

We all do it, so you are with the majority. Second, although you will play your friendship over the years repeatedly in your mind, trying to look for signs you missed, let that play out also. For some reason, we must figure out where we went wrong in judging the fake friend. Finding out that someone you valued never valued you is hard. The sooner you accept that the sooner the healing process can begin. If you are a Believer, turn to scripture and prayer for comfort.

One scripture I found made me feel good to know that God will avenge me as long as I am confident that I have clean hands and heart. That doesn’t mean that I want the person to be held accountable. Not in the least. What I want is for me to move on beyond them as quickly as possible. But if someone goes beyond just hurting your feelings and disparage your name, remember Psalm 101:5-6, “ I will destroy the one who secretly slanders a friend. I will not allow the proud and arrogant to prevail. My eyes are looking at the faithful of the land so that they may live with me; The one who lives a life of integrity will serve me.”

See? You don’t have to do a thing except learn from the experience and not blame yourself. All else God will handle. Keep living, keep loving, and keep an open mind to future friendships. Also, maybe God is clearing the way for new and better friendships.

If Not Now, When?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

So, I missed you last month. But, unfortunately, my life was so busy; I forgot to write. So here I am, ready to engage with you again.


Have you ever heard the phrase, “If not now, when? If not you, who?” I have always liked that saying because it epitomizes how I have lived my life. I have always believed that I could either sit around and blame someone else for my challenges, make excuses for why I could not do something, wait for someone to give me a chance or not give me one, or plot my path.


I was excited and enthusiastic about everything when I began my work career. I remember the first time I interviewed for the management training program with the Army & Air Force Exchange Service. That program offered college graduates an opportunity to join the company at the lowest managerial level and learn to be a manager. I recall the interview in Dallas and visiting the headquarters building. I was so enamored with the various professionals walking around, and back then, people wore suits to work!

if not now, when


Being from a family of churchgoers and not white-collar professionals, I always knew this was the kind of person I wanted to be. So, although I was not a student that anyone took an interest in, except one female basketball coach who also inspired me, I had to learn to believe in myself. I remember just being happy to be there with all the other potential hires. After the interviews, I got on the plane back to Florida, praying that I would be offered a job. Every day, I waited for the mail to see if I would receive a positive response from the company. Finally, one day, it came, and I was so happy to be seen, believed in, and accepted as a person for their program.


Today, some might think that my life’s journey has been easy, and I had only wonderful moments with no challenges at all. Truth be told, I was the first one in my family to attend college and graduate. When I said that to my family members, no one asked, “Why?” they just figured out a way for me to go. Their attitudes were, “Why not her?” and that was my attitude. No one had done it before me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it! So, if not me, who? After I attended and finished college, almost every one of my family members who came up after me attended college also. When I started working a white-collar job, nearly every family member younger than me did so, also. Why? It’s because they saw it to be possible.


Today is a new day. Don’t allow people with bad attitudes and old grudges to keep you from your dreams. Stop listening to the chatter of why you cannot do something. When others begin to project on you their limitations, don’t accept them. When they say that the system isn’t for you, I say, challenge the system, not in a hostile or aggressive way, but in a positive, polished, self-assured manner. Let your attitude be one of the possibilities, not of problems. Tell yourself and others, “If not now, when? If not me, who?” and let them try to convince you otherwise!

How To Think Optimistically

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

I don’t know where you live, but I live in sunny California. Yet, the last couple of months has been the coldest I have ever experienced during my seven years here. Yes, I know it’s all relative and that the nation has had bad weather. Still, I cannot believe how the weather has behaved this year.

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But now it is Springtime! I am thrilled to welcome spring. I love this time of year. Everything from spring breaks to spring showers excites me. I can already see beautiful yellow flowers in my outdoor flower beds. Seeing the blooms make me happy. But isn’t it interesting how we can let the weather affect moods and attitudes? I know people who feel deep depression when it rains or is gray and cold for too long, and I know those who immediately perk up when the sun is shining.

Regardless of what the weather looks like today or tomorrow, I try very hard to embrace life and live it to the fullest. One thing I know for sure is I get to determine how I will respond to each day. I can enter the day with hope, optimism, and anticipation, or I can enter it with a pessimistic, negative, hopeless attitude, always looking for the worst.

As Believers, I want our default attitude to be optimistic. I am not saying that we will not experience the human emotions of frustration, disappointment, or failure. Still, when we experience these emotions, I hope we recognize them for what they are—temporary, and they won’t always last. I hope you won’t allow negative emotions to get the best of you, and when you experience them, you will quickly recover and get back at it. I hope you will learn to rewire your mind to look for the best, to see the glass half full. Remember that even the most optimistic person can find themselves venturing down the negativity. But there is hope! And as usual, I believe that hope comes from God.

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The Bible tells us how we can maintain optimistic attitudes and have happy, hopeful, and positive minds, and Philippians 4:8 is our instruction guide. This scripture has always lifted my spirits, and I hope it will do the same for you. “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

You see, we do not have to allow our minds to wander aimlessly, accepting anything that comes along. The Bible gives us all we need to help us rewire our thinking; we must recognize “stinking thinking” and decide that nothing or no one will negatively affect your attitude; at least not long-term. The Holy Spirit will help us if we let Him.

Reflect Lately?

~ authorlasharnda ~ 1 Comment

I was out running one morning recently, and as my feet pounded the pavement in the early morningsunset hours, I noticed the sky was a beautiful red and blue color. I didn’t stop; I kept running, trying to get my workout done. However, I felt as though the red was getting redder and the blues bluer as I ran. I still would not stop (I needed to get done). At some point, though, I felt God had been trying to get my attention gently, but because I didn’t listen, it felt as though He yelled, “Stop and look!” So, I did. I stopped and looked at the sky with amazement. I then took out my iPhone and began taking pictures. I posted those pictures to social media, and apparently, more than 100 people felt the same about how beautiful they were. As I viewed those pictures, I was able to reflect on God’s goodness. What a wonderful life I have lived. I thank God every day for blessing my life as He has done, and I want to be and do all that God has called me to be and do.

Like many of you, the last year has caused me to reflect a lot. Not just because of the pandemic, but as you grow older, I think one tends to look at life and wonder if you left the earth today, would you have made a difference. I am not saying that we must make some vast world-changing impact, but I wonder who will miss me when I am not here anymore. I realize initially, people are sad that we are no longer around, but after a while, even they settle into their own lives, and those they have lost may slowly fade into the background. Anyway, as I reflect on my life, I quickly recognize that I have more years behind me than in front.

What about you? Have you reflected lately? Have you thought about how each day you make a ripple effect into the lives of others? I have. Recently a person told me that I made a significant difference in her life years ago. She said that although college was accessible to her, it was just not something she had thought of pursuing until she met me. Today, she holds advanced degrees. As such, I began to think about several people I had encouraged to go to school so that they would have opportunities that may have evaded them otherwise. They did, and those doors opened. They don’t have to give me any credit; that’s not what I am looking for at all. But I will say it makes me feel good that this one person didn’t wait until it was time for my eulogy to let me see that I made a difference.

Person sitting quietly on the edge of a dock watching the sunset

Today, think about how you can impact others in significant ways. As much as people can frustrate, disappoint, and anger us, God calls us to think of others. I know it is hard, but God will make sure to reward you for your acts of selflessness. Remember, we don’t need recognition here on earth; although it is nice, we need to do what God has called us to do and let Him handle the rest. I am confident in saying that I guarantee He will.

Born to Thrive!

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Most days, I feel as though I can conquer the world, and then, there are days when I think the world is defeating me. That feeling doesn’t last too long, however. I was born to thrive! At least that’s what I tell myself. The feeling of not just surviving but thriving has been with me since I was very young.

born to thrive

I recognize to hear someone claim that they thrive sounds self-assured and assertive. But, as much as I’d like to think I can face anything and overcome any obstacle, there is always anxiety behind the face of that courage.

The truth is, the fiercest of us experience our share of anxiety. Whether it is dealing with the loss of a job, an end of a marriage or relationship, or a betrayal of any kind, life can get the best of us. When I face struggles, I generally turn to scripture to ease my stress and I pray for guidance as to my next steps. Being a person who tries to control my destiny, I get frustrated when I feel I am not in control. Being a woman of faith, I caution myself to stop trying to control everything. To leave it, only to find myself going back trying to handle the situation again. If you are a control freak and feel you are not in control, anxiety comes. If you are a laid-back and carefree person and deal with those who are not, you probably feel that situation bringing about pressure.

Just remember, for anything that seems to overwhelm us, there is an answer. The answer to me can always be found in scripture. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in all things with prayer and thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” This scripture puts things into their proper perspective. Stop worrying, focus on what is essential, and thrive mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

What do I thrive? I know it’s because I have the assurance through faith that God has my back. As Tauren Wells sings, “If I am on the mountain, He is there. When I am in the valley, He sees me there.“

intention

Anxiety is as much a part of life as breathing but thriving takes intention. Someone said, “An intention is more than a thought or a theory about how you want to live; it is the thought and determination to make that change.” That change starts with our heart, and our attitudes will follow. How can you thrive? Think free like a child. Find an exercise that you will learn to enjoy and do it. Take risks. Take walks. Laugh a lot. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Now, these are easier said than done, but that’s why I say intention is key to thriving.