Author: authorlasharnda

Cultivating Meaningful Friendships

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

I must admit that I am not that easy to warm up to. I take my time to feel people out before allowing others to see my vulnerabilities. Also, I am not the kind of person who openly shares my life with someone who hasn’t earned the right to know.

When I was young and my grandfather was alive, I can recall how warm and friendly he was. I guess that goes with the job of Pastor, but he was just a calm, gentle soul that I adored. When I was a girl, he said to me, “If you want friends, show yourself to be friendly.” As I grew and read my Bible, I found what he was saying without saying it in a condemning way was scriptural. The scripture is found in Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

I didn’t think I needed close friends in my early adult years. If I had one I could call my best friend, that would be enough. I know that there are varying levels of friendship, and I also believe that some relationships are for a season, some seasons being longer or shorter than others. What’s really important, though, is to understand that even the varying levels of friendship are important to our growth.

For example, if you had a friend that you trusted, but they somehow hurt you, you can learn from that relationship. I hope you will not learn to distrust people, however. What I pray you took away from it is that only some people or relationships are as deep as you may perceive them. It may be hard to accept this, but I bet there were warning signs along the way. It could have been something small that you brushed off or something huge that hurt you, but you chose to ignore it. You can see those signs as vividly as you would on a day alone. No worries, it’s over, move on. God is ready to replace that person with someone else. You were never meant to be alone.

Friendship is biblical; just as Genesis 2:18 points out, being alone is not good. God created each of us to be in fellowship with Him. But He also made us have a desire for community. Just think of all the places where you and I can form special friendships: work, home, school, church, and our neighborhoods or communities. I have learned that friendships play a unique role in my life. So, instead of disregarding others, I look to cultivate strong bonds, knowing that some will last a lifetime and others will last for a season.

Whatever God’s purpose is for those you have the honor of befriending, trust that He will help you find the right circle of friends. And when some do not work out as you had hoped, look to the lesson and wait to see who God places in your life next.

The Impact of Stress on Our Bodies: A Personal Account

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

It’s been a minute! I missed writing my blog last month because, as organized as I am, I lost track of time, and before I knew it, April was gone. So, I’m sitting here on my bed, sicker than sick, writing today. As I thought about what I wanted to share, my mind went straight to my current situation. I have been in bed since arriving home two days ago, and when I try to do something, my body reminds me to rest.

How did I get here? What did I miss? I run every day, and I eat pretty healthily, but I missed something. The more my thoughts wander trying to pinpoint why I got sick, I cannot help but think back to when I was profoundly ill in 2012. I retired in November 2011, and in December, I fell sick and did not recover for an entire year. I wonder if my body had warned me back then, and I failed to listen. Has my body been telling me something recently that I ignored? Probably. We give little thought to the small and big stresses in our lives. Do we discount the toll mental or emotional stress can have on our bodies? I may have done that. How about you?

When I am quiet and peacefully waiting for God to heal me, I do everything necessary to take care of my body. One thing I never stop doing is to read my Bible. So, the scripture found in Philippians 4:6-7 comes to mind. “Be anxious for nothing, but in all things, through prayer and supplication, let your requests be known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” So, what does this mean in the context of stress in any area of our lives? It means, “Don’t stress the small stuff.” I learned this scripture many years ago but constantly need help with various situations. Why can’t I just let things go? Why am I sometimes obsessed with control and ensuring every detail goes right? I am sure God knows I am this way and forgives me when I falter. However, I need to learn to forgive myself, forgive others, and release any anxiety I hold over any of these.

I don’t know about you, but whatever you may face at home, at work, or in your community, if something gets to you, breathe, take a walk, and repeat to yourself that you are casting your anxieties on God because you know He doesn’t want you sick physically, mentally, or emotionally. He cares for you.

Also, pray while you wait for God to show you how to release the pressure of stress in your life. 

Faith. Hope. Purpose

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

As I write this blog, we are entering Holy Week. As usual, this time of year always inspires me to reflect. I cannot help but think about the sacrifice and resurrection of my Lord, Jesus Christ. Amid my pondering, I am compelled to share a message of encouragement with you all.

We are blessed with the gift of life, with divine purpose and intention. Life is meant to be lived positively and purposefully; we should embrace every moment with gratitude and determination. Despite our challenges, we should cast aside blame and excuses, for they only hinder our progress.

Instead, let us embrace ownership of our lives, recognizing that we have the power to shape our destiny through our thoughts, words, and actions. Remember Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” With faith as our guide and God’s grace as our strength, there is nothing we cannot overcome.

As we approach Easter, let us reflect on Jesus Christ’s ultimate act of love and sacrifice on the cross. His resurrection symbolizes hope, renewal, and the promise of new beginnings. Let this be a reminder that no matter how difficult our circumstances may seem, there is always hope on the horizon.

So, my dear friends, I encourage you to embrace your life wholeheartedly. Seize each day with courage and conviction, knowing that the One who created you loves you unconditionally. I pray this Holy Week that we will allow faith, positivity, and purpose to drive our actions, for in doing so, we will unlock the full potential of our God-given talents.

May this Holy Week be a time of reflection, renewal, and recommitment to living a life that glorifies God in all that we do. Remember, it’s your life—own it. No blame. No excuses.

Embracing Gentleness: The Power of Softening Our Words

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I begin today by reflecting on a concept that holds immense power yet often goes overlooked in our daily interactions: gentleness. As someone who has long believed in the direct approach, I’ve come to understand the importance of softening our words and embracing gentleness in our communication.

embrace gentleness


In a world where candor and straightforwardness are often celebrated, it’s easy to overlook the impact our words can have on others. The truth is, our words have the power to either build up or tear down, to inspire, or to wound. And in the pursuit of being direct, we sometimes forget the profound effect our tone and delivery can have on those around us.
The Bible offers wisdom, reminding us that “gentle words turn away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1.


This simple yet profound truth underscores the transformative power of gentleness in our interactions. When we approach others with gentleness, we not only disarm hostility but also create an environment of understanding and empathy.

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Gentleness does not imply weakness or timidity; rather, it signifies strength under control. It takes courage to temper our words, to choose kindness over bluntness, and to prioritize the well-being of others above our desire to be heard. Moreover, gentleness fosters deeper connections and strengthens relationships. When we communicate with gentleness, we convey respect, humility, and a genuine concern for the feelings of others. It allows us to navigate conflicts with grace and resolve differences with compassion.


Our goal should be to cultivate gentleness in our speech and actions and to remember that it is not about diluting our message or compromising our values. Instead, it is about infusing our interactions with warmth, empathy, and understanding.


Today and the days to follow, let us embrace gentleness as a guiding principle in our communication. Let’s recognize its transformative power to diffuse tension, foster connection, and cultivate harmony in our personal and professional relationships. May we always remember the absolute truth, the Word of God, that gentle words turn away wrath, and they have the extraordinary ability to sow seeds of peace.

Lacking Confidence?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever looked at some people, and they just seemed to exude confidence? Yeah, I have, too. Have you ever wondered why some have no problem stepping up and taking on any challenge without worries while others shy away? Are you one of those who lacks confidence, and privately, you wonder why you cannot overcome the fear of not being “good enough?” Also, when does self-confidence become arrogance?

confidence

There are so many questions with one answer. It all begins with God. If you start with God as your foundation, you will surely build self-confidence rather than arrogance. How would you know? The Holy Spirit will remind you.

Now, how do you build confidence? It begins with God also.
The first thing that comes to mind is the scripture that reminds us that we are made in God’s image. Another. one says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” And another tells us that “God’s gifts and calling are irrevocable.” So, if you begin with what the word of God says about you and fill your mind with these things rather than the harmful noise, you can build confidence.

This month, I want to emphasize the profound significance of believing in yourself, staying the course, and embracing confidence and consistency on the journey to success. As we navigate life’s challenges, a timeless wisdom is found in scripture that resonates with these principles.

Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our understanding. This scripture is a foundation for self-belief, urging us to believe in our abilities even when faced with uncertainties. The path to success often requires us to trust our capabilities, but I reject that. We must trust God first and then believe He cares about the things that concern us and will help us achieve our dreams and goals.

As we go through life, we will face obstacles, but faith, perseverance, and resilience can lead to eventual success. Staying true to our goals, even in the face of adversity, is a testament to God’s power working through us.

I can do all things

Confidence and consistency find a voice in Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” This verse highlights the empowerment that comes from a confident belief in God and confidence in oneself, coupled with the consistency of effort. Remember, our abilities are amplified when rooted in faith and sustained through dedicated consistent action.

As you pursue your aspirations, remember to draw inspiration from the scriptures. They emphasize belief, perseverance, and confidence. Remember, by believing in ourselves, staying the course, and being confident and consistent, we unlock the door to a future where success is not just a destination but a journey of growth and fulfillment.

Embracing Anticipation & Expectation

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

It is almost another year! As is a common tradition from some of us, we choose a word that encapsulates our hopes, aspirations, and intentions for the coming year. For me, 2024 I believe that 2024 to be a year marked by two powerful words: Anticipation and Expectation. These two words hold the promise of a journey filled with hope, excitement, and the unwavering belief that the future is laden with opportunities waiting to unfold. I believe God will amaze me in the coming year, as He did throughout 2023.

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Sometimes, I think of these words as the same, but Anticipation is a state of eager expectation, a thrilling prelude to what lies ahead. It’s the flutter in our hearts as we ponder the future’s possibilities. In an ever-changing world, embracing Anticipation allows us to approach the unknown with open hearts and minds. The Anticipation of new experiences, relationships, and personal growth creates a sense of adventure, urging us to step outside our comfort zones and explore uncharted territories.

expectation


Expectation, on the other hand, is the firm belief that something good is on the horizon. It is the confidence that our efforts will be rewarded and our dreams will come to fruition. Setting positive expectations is not just wishful thinking; it’s a mindset that propels us forward, empowering us to overcome obstacles and turn challenges into stepping stones toward success.


In the tapestry of human experience, Anticipation and expectation are woven into the fabric of faith. This sentiment is echoed in the scriptures, where we find guidance and encouragement to anticipate the future with hope and expect the best. One such scripture that resonates with the spirit of Anticipation and expectation is my life scripture, Jeremiah 29:11:
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

jeremiah2911


This verse reminds us that a divine plan is in our lives. The Anticipation of a future shaped by good & compassionate intentions and the expectation of a hopeful outcome are deeply embedded in these words. Embracing this scripture has always encouraged me to surrender my worries, trust in the unknown but unfolding journey, and anticipate the goodness that God has prepared for the future.

As we navigate the landscape of 2024, let’s carry Anticipation and expectation with us. I intend to focus on these words in 2024 and let them be a guiding light that illuminates my path toward personal growth, resilience, and joy. Let this scripturedo the same for you. Also, let Anticipation fuel your enthusiasm while expectation anchors your resolve. Together, they will form a potent force to propel us toward our goals, shaping a year filled with purpose and fulfillment.


Happy New Year! May 2024 be a chapter in your life where Anticipation sparks your curiosity and expectation fuels your determination. Keep the words of Jeremiah close to your heart, and remember the future holds a divine plan filled with hope and the promise of a better future.

Imposter Syndrome? Grace Transforms Insecurities

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Recently, I explored a theme that I have heard repeatedly. The phrase is Imposter Syndrome. After reading about it and hearing comments from various people, I began to wonder about it for myself. Do I ever experience this phenomenon? If I did, would I admit it to anyone? I would admit it to my husband. But in such a competitive world, I can see why people feel they are imposters, especially at work.

imposter syndrome


Social media doesn’t help, either. We believe everything we see on these platforms; worst yet, some of us compare ourselves to others and measure our happiness by their posts. We see friends and family traveling the world, looking happy, only to hear not long after a trip that there is shocking news that life, perhaps, wasn’t as rosy as portrayed. Also, look at the extremely popular people, and suddenly, we hear that they decided this life was just too hard.
To a certain extent, we can all be imposters at some point. However, I would not ascribe that description to many people I know. We are all just trying to do our best. Life gets complicated, and people want not only to survive but also to thrive. So they put on a face, even when the going gets tough, and forge ahead.

gods grace


If you feel you are an imposter, a person who often wears a mask to conceal your insecurities, join the club. But, also know that God knows who we are from the inside out and still loves us. His grace is a mirror reflecting our true worth.


I am sure you know this scripture, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works so that no one can boast.” – Ephesians 2:8-9. See, there you have it. The scripture tells us that the unearned nature of God’s grace destroys our insecurities.


God’s unconditional love breaks the chains of the imposter syndrome because His love fosters a sense of security in His grace. I know some of you are struggling with this issue, but as I have told myself and others, you are not an imposter. Where you are right now is where you are supposed to be. If you are in a boardroom feeling you shouldn’t be there, or if you are in a bathroom trying to get the nerve up to enter a space, you feel overwhelmed, chin up, back straight, and walk like the child of God you are. Find strength and confidence through Christ.

What Is It About Me?

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Have you ever found yourself pondering the enigmatic question, “What is it about me?” It’s a question that tends to surface when relationships crumble right before our eyes, leaving us with a sense of confusion and heartache. We wonder why people betray us, and we may even question what could be inherently wrong with us. The quest to understand the root of this issue can be both introspective and revealing.

First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge that the notion of betrayal is a complex and multifaceted aspect of human relationships. It often stems from various factors, such as miscommunication, unmet expectations, and personal insecurities. While it’s easy to internalize these experiences and wonder what we did wrong, it’s crucial to remember that betrayal is not always a reflection of our worth or character.

proverbs 3

Scripture provides wisdom and comfort during times of personal reflection and adversity. In times of doubt and introspection, we can turn to my favorite book, the Bible, in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight.” This scripture reminds us that while we may question ourselves and our circumstances, ultimately, trust in God can provide clarity and guidance.

Self-reflection is an essential step in understanding the dynamics of our relationships. It can help us identify patterns in our interactions with others and reveal areas where we may need personal growth or improvement. However, this should not be a journey of self-blame or self-criticism, but rather an opportunity for self-awareness and self-empowerment.

When you find yourself asking, “What is it about me?” don’t do so blaming yourself for whatever went wrong. Instead, reframe your thoughts and consider the following:

  • Misunderstandings can lead to strained relationships. Reflect on your communication style. I didn’t say change it, but consider how you communicate. I know I have to do so regularly.
  • Unrealistic or unspoken expectations can lead to disappointment and feelings of betrayal.
  • Self-esteem and self-worth play a significant role in how we perceive and respond to betrayal. I have a strong sense of self and that helps me navigate challenging situations more confidently.
  • Betrayal can erode trust, making it difficult to establish healthy connections. I remind myself often that I have trust issues and that causes me to keep my guard up. Consider how trust issues may have affected your relationships and what steps you can take to rebuild trust.
  • Use the experience of betrayal as an opportunity for personal growth. Embrace the lessons learned, and seek ways to become a better version of yourself.
  • Sometimes, seeking guidance from a trusted friend or therapist can provide valuable insights and support in understanding your role in relationships and any recurring patterns.

Remember that relationships are a two-way street. While self-reflection is essential, it’s equally important to recognize that betrayal often arises from the complexities of both parties involved. Ultimately, asking “What is it about me?” can be a catalyst for personal growth and healthier, more fulfilling relationships. It’s a question that can lead to self-discovery and a deeper understanding of the intricate dynamics of human connections.

Over the years, I have always had my guard up. People who knew me understood the guarded me and just accepted it. But there has always been a good reason to guard me, because true to form, people I would let it, would end up betraying me. Most times, I would accept the betrayal as another lesson learned, but there have been times when I had to ask myself, “What is it about me?”

Overcoming Fake Friends…

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losing fake friends

Don’t Be Surprised When People you thought supported you never really did. This type of fake friendship became very clear to me recently. Although I probably secretly already knew deep down, they did not care for me but chose to ignore my gut. Anyway, I think we always know if someone likes us or not. We sense if they are indeed our friends or not. We know based on their actions or inactions. Yes, we know because our gut or intuition warns us.

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Yet, It always surprises me when people are shocked when their betrayer finally shows their true face. Honestly, I am never shocked anymore. When it happens, I go with it. Okay, so I may be caught off guard for a minute, but I was never shocked to find that some of the people I trusted didn’t care for me.

So, what do we do when we feel betrayed? Learn and not blame. Learn from the experience, but do not wallow in self-pity. And for God’s sake, don’t blame yourself for not seeing it sooner. Also, do not ask yourself, “Why?” or “What did you do?” If you did something, yes, apologize, but more likely than not, you did nothing.

Generally, we are raised to give people the “benefit of the doubt,” so when we see signs like them joking about us, making passive-aggressive comments towards us, etc., our gut warns us, but we tend to ignore it. Also, we don’t want to assume bad things about others.

We all do it, so you are with the majority. Second, although you will play your friendship over the years repeatedly in your mind, trying to look for signs you missed, let that play out also. For some reason, we must figure out where we went wrong in judging the fake friend. Finding out that someone you valued never valued you is hard. The sooner you accept that the sooner the healing process can begin. If you are a Believer, turn to scripture and prayer for comfort.

One scripture I found made me feel good to know that God will avenge me as long as I am confident that I have clean hands and heart. That doesn’t mean that I want the person to be held accountable. Not in the least. What I want is for me to move on beyond them as quickly as possible. But if someone goes beyond just hurting your feelings and disparage your name, remember Psalm 101:5-6, “ I will destroy the one who secretly slanders a friend. I will not allow the proud and arrogant to prevail. My eyes are looking at the faithful of the land so that they may live with me; The one who lives a life of integrity will serve me.”

See? You don’t have to do a thing except learn from the experience and not blame yourself. All else God will handle. Keep living, keep loving, and keep an open mind to future friendships. Also, maybe God is clearing the way for new and better friendships.

Embrace Your Fearfully and Wonderfully Made Self

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Life’s journey often takes us through peaks and valleys, challenging us to discover our true selves amidst the chaos. The Bible offers profound wisdom and solace in times of doubt and self-discovery. One such verse, Psalm 139:14, beautifully reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” This declaration holds the power to transform the way we perceive ourselves and our purpose. The inspiration this scripture brings causes us to look at our unique selves and how we can lead a more fulfilling and impactful life.

fearfully made


First, recognize God’s Handiwork by reflecting on the profound truth that we are creations of a loving God. Just as an artist pours their heart into their masterpiece, so too has God intricately woven every fiber of our being. Embracing this truth allows us to find beauty in our flaws, strength in our weaknesses, and purpose in every aspect of our lives. Each of us is a masterpiece, and our individuality is a testament to the Creator’s infinite creativity.


Second, we can overcome self-doubt. In a world that often magnifies our imperfections, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-doubt. But when we internalize the message of Psalm 139:14, we’re reminded that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Our uniqueness isn’t a cause for shame or insecurity; it’s a reason to celebrate. Embracing our strengths and acknowledging our weaknesses with humility allows us to grow and evolve into the best versions of ourselves.

Third, as we learn to embrace our authentic selves, we free ourselves from the pressure to conform to societal norms or others’ expectations. Embracing our authentic selves empowers us to pursue our passions, voice our opinions, and contribute to the world in ways only we can. Our individuality becomes a source of inspiration for others seeking to break free from the shackles of conformity.

Fourth, we can cultivate self-love and compassion by seeing ourselves as God sees us. By recognizing our worth, we open the door to self-love and compassion. Just as the Creator loves us unconditionally, we can learn to love ourselves despite our flaws. This self-love becomes a wellspring of confidence, allowing us to face challenges with resilience and grace. Additionally, as we learn to love ourselves, we extend that love to others, fostering a sense of unity and empathy in our relationships.

Fifth, discovering our purpose is a journey that often requires introspection and self-discovery. Our purpose becomes more apparent when we believe we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are called to use our talents, passions, and experiences to positively impact the world around us. Whether our purpose is found in our careers, relationships, or community service, embracing our uniqueness empowers us to pursue our calling with unwavering dedication.

Psalm 139:14 constantly reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. This affirmation can transform our lives by helping us recognize our inherent worth, embrace authenticity, and pursue our unique purpose. As we journey through life, let’s hold onto this truth, drawing strength from the knowledge that we are cherished creations of a loving Creator. By doing so, we can inspire others to walk confidently in their own unique identities and leave an indelible mark on the world.