Author: authorlasharnda

A Pentecostal Perspective …

~ authorlasharnda ~ 2 Comments

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I am a Proud Pentecostal.  I am a Positive Pentecostal too. Pentecostals are known for being charismatic and excitable people. We show emotion in our worship and some may think that we are weird. When I was a little girl, I was thought of as weird for sure.  We were the people in the church where people were “dancing in the Spirit” and No, we were not snake handlers!

Many people meet me and don’t believe that I would buy-in to this type of religious group.  You know, they think I am too intellectual, too smart, too informed and educated, to be a part of such a group. I am!

I love being Pentecostal.I love the excitement and the emotion expressed in our worship. I would not want to be identified with any other group. I am devoted to my faith.

My faith influences every part of my life!  My faith has not only informed my life, it has been the key element in me believing in myself and in the creation on my ideal life. I believe in prayer, Bible reading and a relationship with Jesus Christ. Because I am a follower of Jesus and believe strongly in the tenets of my faith, I don’t think that I am supposed to live a life of negativity, pessimism nor poverty. The Bible says, “All things are possible” and I truly believe that all things are. I believe in hope; my faith tells me that I have a blessed hope.  My faith also helps me overcome my fears, helps me to believe in myself and has enabled me to take risks that I may not have ever taken had I not believed in what my Bible tells me about me.

You may ask, how does religion help you to live your ideal life? For me, it certainly gave me self-confidence, which of course affected my self-esteem. I don’t see myself as less than anyone. I don’t feel inferior, I don’t feel inadequate. That’s how my faith has helped me move forward and why I have achieved so much. I am not afraid to try. I hope you won’t be afraid either, ever.

How Do You Stay Positive?

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Image result for image of positive black womanIs staying positive enough? You may ask, how in the world do I stay positive when so many things seem to be going wrong in my life and in the lives of those around me? Those are fair questions.

Staying positive may not change your circumstances, but it can change how you look at your circumstances. How you look at your circumstances makes all the difference in the world. If you can see the positive in whatever happens in your life, you can recover from the blow quicker. You can be  happier and even healthier, because you won’t be easily overtaken with worry or stress. If you choose to see all that is wrong with the world and also see yourself as a victim, it’s easier to wallow in the situation.

I know that there are those who feel that telling someone to stay positive is just “feel good” talk.  I have heard some say that they can’t have a positive attitude because they are just “wired” that way. They say that they can’t help but get negative. I get that it is easy to allow our minds and attitudes to default to negative. In fact, it maybe a natural reaction for those who do not think about their responses to life’s challenges.  However, I also believe that the default doesn’t have to be negative.  If you would recognize when you are in a stressful situation, that you have a choice in how you respond.  Rather than allowing the situation to dictate it for you, think first and then decide how you will respond.

In my book, I emphasize the importance of learning how to stay positive.  Begin by practicing positivity. If you don’t practice it, you will continue to default to negativity when the stress begins.

What we have to get through our minds is that no matter what others do to us; what circumstances we face, whether bad people or bad situations, someone else has faced the exact same thing before us, while we are going through it and there will be those who go through it after us. Some people have succeeded in spite of their circumstances and some have succumbed to their circumstances.  The question becomes which of these two are you? If you cultivate a positive attitude, you will look more like the former rather than the latter.

I talk about BOOMS in my book. BOOMS are Bold Obstacles Over-taking Mind & Spirit. BOOMS happen to us all. It could be an illness that knocks you to your knees; it could be a broken relationship; devastations at work or in your home. When they happen, they can destroy you if you let them. They can shake your faith and can cause you to question your intellect, skills and abilities.  BOOMS can make you question if you are good enough, smart enough or worth anything. When you recognize BOOMS for what they are,  you can figure out how to handle them.   You can determine that they will not destroy you. You will take control of your life and own it.

 

Army & Air Force Exchange Service; What’s that?

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1480503_10200865742397540_1900211115_nFor 26 years, I worked as a professional within the federal government. I began my career as a college trainee. I rose through the corporate ranks, attaining a different level management tag on my experience ring, year after year.  I held entry level manager jobs and I held senior level manager jobs.  I retired from the Army and Air Force Exchange Service (AAFES) in 2011 after 26 years of service as a Vice President. I loved that company and I loved the mission; it was the most commendable mission and I felt what we did mattered.  We supported the United States military. Who else would have such a wonderful calling?

I was introduced to AAFES several years before I actually came on board as a manager. I was traveling Europe, ran out of money and went to this American base with a friend to find a job.  I met my husband along the way (that may have been fate).  He was a military man.  We fell in love, got married, had a child and the life of travel and fun had come to an end.  A couple years into our marriage, we moved to Florida and into a little apartment. Life was good and my family was satisfied with our life.  I, on the other hand, was never designed to just settle.

When I got married, I didn’t even think that I would not be able to travel the world, see exciting things, experience new cultures or stop doing anything I had dreamed of doing.  Those things did stop for a while but I never stopped dreaming of my ideal life.  One day, as I was living my normal life, I thought to apply to this international company I knew back in England. I did apply without telling my husband, who was happy and satisfied and had just retired to Florida.  I applied and got the job and had to tell my husband that we were moving from Florida to Texas. I told him after I had accepted the job! Thank God he understood my immaturity back then.

AAFES was the best job one could ever imagine. Working with an organization that had a mission that I loved was great. Being able to travel the world, see exciting things, experience new cultures and not live in a tiny apartment was better.

I tell you about my time with AAFES because it helped shaped me. It also gave me an opportunity to learn and grow and to do the things I had always dreamed of. The only thing that was different is that I had a husband and son in tow.  Don’t allow excuses to keep you from living your ideal life. Live it in spite of detours in your life. Just because things are not as you had hoped does not mean that they can’t be.

Choice versus Fate

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1480503_10200865742397540_1900211115_nYou may ask, “Is choosing your life that easy?” I guess it is about perspective. I mean it has to be something you really want.  Also, I know that sometimes you think you know what you want, but you are unclear how to get it.  For example, at a young age, you may have dreamed of growing up, becoming a big time executive that would travel the world, live in exciting places, have a wonderful home and a cool car.  As you grew into adulthood, things changed; you may have married, had a child, maybe you didn’t college and now you feel that none of what you dreamed of as a child happened for you.  You may feel less valuable because of it.  You don’t talk to your friends because they are in the same boat and you feel that that won’t understand your desire to do more with your life. You may have even heard someone say, “Life Happened” when you ask them about what their dreams were.

Yes, life happens for us all but that doesn’t mean that we have to forego our dreams. I know people who are in their 50s, 60s and older still going after their dreams. I was 49 when I got my PhD. I was in my late 20s when I got my Bachelor’s degree. So what?  The idea that you don’t have a say in your life is wrong thinking.  You have a say in your life. You can choose to live where you are, and live a life of regret, or you can choose to push past your fears and pursue the dreams you buried.

You may believe in fate (your destiny is set) but even the Bible tells us that humans were made with free will; we were created to make moral choices and we are responsible for those choices. If you or I chose to put our dreams of traveling the world on hold to raise a family, that is okay. If you or I chose not to have a family so that we could travel the world, that’s okay too.  The point is, it’s our own choices and our choices lead to how our lives are shaped.

When I have been frustrated with my personal or my professional life, when I have felt that I was not living what I wanted, I chose to change the direction I was going. My life hasn’t always been easy and I have certainly hit bumps in my professional life and sometimes in my personal life. I choose to live the life of my dreams in spite of those bumps. You can too.

Inspiration for It’s Your Life; Own It.

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Beckwith photoI have been asked what inspired me to write, It’s Your Life; Own It. That’s easy to answer.  For years I have coached or counseled others, whether professionally or personally.   I have taught young students and mature students , undergraduate and graduate. I have led people in government, in non-profits and in for-profit companies. One thing that has remained constant and has transcended age, gender, race or socio-economic status is the tendency of people, including me, to blame others for not having the life they dreamed of having.

I am sure you have experienced frustration, and maybe even anger, when things just did not work out as you had hoped. I saw that trait in my self when I did not get the promotions I thought I deserved. I had every excuse that anyone could think of as to why others kept me from moving forward.  Year after year, I would blame someone else for why I didn’t get what I felt I deserved. One day I woke up. I said to myself, stop it! Whatever you want in life, go after it and stop blaming. If you get it, good, if you don’t, you tried.  Just stop blaming your life’s situation on others. If you do, you not only draw negativity to yourself, but you will have given others power over you.  It’s your life, not theirs. Own your choices; own your decisions; own your risks or your lack of taking risks. Whatever you decide to do, though, is all on you.

I experienced an epiphany that day and it dawned on me that it wasn’t just me blaming others for my life; it wasn’t just me making excuses. Heck, I had heard many people do the same.  So, I decided it was time to tell others, what I told myself that day.  That’s the story of how and why I was inspired to write this book.  I hope you gain something from the experiences that are shared in it.

Welcome!

~ authorlasharnda ~ 1 Comment

Hi, and welcome!  My name is Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith, author of “It’s Your Life; Own It!” I’m so happy to have you as a visitor to my blog about my new book.  This project is very special to me, and I hope to share some of that excitement with you here.

I’ll be using this blog to interact with you about “It’s Your Life; Own It!” expanding on some of the topics in it and posting on some of the ideas related to my book and what I do for a living, inspiring others to be great leaders.  This is a great place for you to get to know me, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you, too.

What did you think of “It’s Your Life; Own It?”  What questions do you have for me?  How do you relate to my book?

I’ll be returning here frequently with new posts and responses to feedback from you.

Until next time, please tell me a little bit about yourself.  Thank you!