#Jesuslovesyou

Reflect Christ…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

I understand why people write blogs. Sometimes it’s to help others; other times, it’s to share information or gather insights about our own experiences. When I sit down to write, I reflect on what I want to share and on things that I have experienced, good or bad.

reflectChrist

Over the last few years, I have faced my ups and downs. I have had to make some unpleasant decisions that affected other people’s lives, and I have repeatedly confronted my shortcomings. I don’t care how old one is; facing our shortcomings is hard. However, genuinely looking inward makes us so vulnerable. 

I have been in leadership from the very beginning of my work career. After graduating from college, I landed a job in a management training program with the federal government. As a result, I have loads of experience in leadership. Also, leadership is my area of study in both my doctoral programs. As a result, I tend to have very high expectations of people holding leadership roles. My expectations can be exhilarating for some and exhausting for others. Dare I say, demoralizing to others. 

Recently, called into question was my leadership. A person I felt I was holding accountable stated that because I asked him “why” in several instances, I made him feel “unsafe” and “demoralized.” I was baffled! More than that, I felt insulted. I thought about that interchange for days. I even prayed about it. Although I prayed, I could not shake his comments. His comments bothered me. 

I revisited the meeting in my mind and recalled his posture as I sat there and listened to him. In several instances, I felt he was passive-aggressive. I was sure he purposefully used trigger words to disarm me and come in for the kill. As he spoke, all I could think about was how he misrepresented certain situations we had discussed. I felt he was gaslighting me; for days, his words stuck with me as I tried to shake them off. I kept telling myself, Reflect Christ, reflect Christ, but my anxiety and frustration was getting the best of me.

I have always felt that as distance happens between an event and yourself, the less you feel the pain. After several days, I could stop and take a good look at myself. I asked, are you purposefully trying to demoralize anyone? Do you try to intimidate? My answer was an emphatic No. However, I did learn from that situation that I am still growing. I get hurt like anyone else when others misunderstand my words or actions. 

I believe God’s grace bridges our shortcomings. The Word of God says that “His mercies are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness.” At some point, we will all face conflict. We will all be misunderstood. We can sit and stew in misunderstandings or look at them as opportunities for growth. I intend to do the latter. We can also hold a grudge, but as a Follower of Christ, I choose to try to reflect His image everyday.

You Make Life Matter…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

 

you make life matterI believe that many of our problems can be averted if we would honestly seek to understand other people.  I think many of today’s issues would go away if we weren’t so angry and ready to pounce on each other. I would like to believe that if people would stop talking so much, insisting on being heard, would stop and think before speaking, maybe, just maybe, they would hear what the other person is trying to communicate.

I tell you what I think. I think that today, many feel that they are more important than the other person. We have easily demonized each other, so we don’t have to listen to each other. We are bent on getting our point of view out there, that we don’t have time or patience to wait to hear the other person.  For some, it’s like being on stage.  The problem with the limelight is that we forget sometimes like it so much, we release all inhibitions.

Just think about this for a moment, every one of us ultimately wants to feel that we matter. We want to feel appreciated. I am God’s child.   I am made in His image, and that makes me feel good about me.  You, too, were made in His image. You are who you are, and that’s okay with Him.  Disagreements happen because we have different experiences that we wish others would stop and try to see. When they don’t, we get frustrated. We want people to change to be like us and they won’t, so we get angry.  We want people to hear us, and they don’t, so we get louder and

Stop arguing and start looking at each other as a child of God.  I am God’s child, and so are you.  I am made in His image, and so are you. You are who you are, and that’s okay with Him, but He loves me too.  Disagreements happen because we have different experiences that we wish others would stop and try to see. When they don’t, we get frustrated. We want people to change to be like us and they won’t, so we get angry.  We want people to hear us, and they don’t, so we get louder and more hostile. Ultimately we shut down any and all channels to communicate and to learn to appreciate each other’s ideas, thoughts, and their uniqueness.

When we refuse to change for someone else, when we then stand our ground, not willing to bend an inch to understand the other person, I think we lose.

be the changeThe truth is, no one has to change anything You don’t have to change your views to match mine; nor do you have to change your way of thinking. You don’t have to change your looks to look like the runway models; you don’t have to change so that you have thousands of friends to be okay and you don’t have to be anywhere near perfect either. You are who you are, made in God’s image. However, don’t forget that the person you disagree with is also made in the image of God. Neither may act like they are, but they are. Their behavior may suggest differently, but God still loves both of them. God loves the entire world.

If we agree that there was only one perfect person that walked this earth, Jesus, maybe we can begin to accept that we are different from others and at the same time, we are just like all others, imperfect.

I can’t change how you see the world, but I will tell you that when the world looks at you, the extraordinary people see a unique person with qualities and attributes that only are given to you. If you say to me that there are those who don’t see you, I say, maybe they are not supposed to.  God sees you. He made you. He loves you. You don’t have to accept Him, but He accepts you.

I pray that I will learn to accept others just like Jesus did. Don’t you?LaSharnda

Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith

 

 

Celebrate Her!

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Mothers-Day-Picture1It’s another Mother’s day and many are celebrating moms. Others are grieving because their moms are no longer with them and then there are others, like me, who lost my mom at a young age many years ago. I miss both my mom and grandma, but I do not grieve anymore. I celebrate them.

I was reading a post that made me think a lot about this holiday. The writer said something like, “please be sensitive when you all begin posting Mother’s day comments tomorrow, I lost my only child a couple of years ago.”

I don’t know the person who wrote that post, but it did touch me. As I contemplated what this woman had written, my mind did not go to my own mother, but to myself. I am the mother of one child too.  I don’t want to focus on anything that would make me or you feel down. Some of you already feel that way, so for the lady who lost her only child, I am so sorry.  I feel her pain.

momsI want to say to those who can celebrate, celebrate and be sensitive too. Mothers should be honored.  I want to focus on the beauty of what moms, even the ones who have gone, left us.

I am a strong, determined woman. I am, because of the many women who decided to be a part of my life.  The strength to stand and persevere came from watching my grandmother, aunt, great aunt and other women. My ability to think and solve problems came from watching them work through hard life issues. And the faith that I have, came from seeing them embrace their faith and hold to it in the toughest of times, trusting God to bring them through. I watched them believe and trust no matter what. I also watched them go through the loss of their own loved ones and evolve stronger, more determined. I learned that God would not give you more than you could bear and that all things worked out for good to those who loved God.  I learned so much from these mother figures.

Some of you experienced loving and nurturing mothers; they were so special. Others may not have had the same experience. Some may think that because they had the perfect mothers, everyone did. That’s just not the case. We know from living on this earth, that there are mothers out there that may not have been all that they should have been. If your mother is here, great and God bless you. Honor her. If your mother has gone on, I am sorry and God bless you. If your mother was not the mother many celebrate, I am sorry and will tell you this, there is someone who will take the past hurts and disappointments and turn your ashes into something beautiful.

However, if your mother is here, great and God bless you. Honor her. If your mother has gone on, I am sorry and God bless you. If your mother was not the mother many celebrate, I am sorry and will tell you this, there is someone who will take the past hurts and disappointments and turn your ashes into something beautiful. Don’t let the past define your future. “Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with

“Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with promise)” (Ephesians 6:2). Have fun celebrating with her while you have her here. Don’t be depressed if she is gone, celebrate the times you shared with her.  Think of the joy and laughter as well as the life lessons you learned from her.  If you are still grieving due to a recent loss, I won’t say stop grieving, I will say, God will be a mother to the motherless. I know, He has been to me.

Happy Mother’s day!