Shut Up & Listen!

March 14, 2018December 31, 2021 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

shut up and listen I have been in highly competitive environments all of my adult life. I have been around people who are kind yet ambitious. People who have high confidence and never make others feel less than; and I have been around others who are highly educated and successful, but they don’t talk about what education they have nor boast about how successful they have been. These people are loud, quiet, jolly and reserved, but the one quality that impressed me the most was the emotional intelligence they demonstrated in how to genuinely and authentically connect. I call them selfless people.

Then there are others. They have to make sure you know how popular they are, what they have done, and just how successful they have been in doing whatever it is they have done. They compete too, but they compete with everybody they meet, even if the others are not consciously competing with them. If they are quiet, it is only to think of how they can impress you with their accomplishments.

I watched a documentary about Princess Diana. I have always had a special place in my heart for her (don’t ask me why; I just do). One of the things that came up from the people who were interviewed for this documentary was how they felt being with her. These people were not all royals are the “upper class.” They were people in hospitals, on the streets as homeless or those impacted by landmines in Bosnia, all spoke of how she connected with them. Many of these people were touched by her even after she was no longer the Princess of Wales. Clearly, she was famous and well-connected, yet, these people felt she cared about them and brought attention to their causes nor her own. She listened.

Then I think of Jesus. What do you think of when you think about Him? Do you think of someone who was always talking? Probably not. Don’t you see Him as sitting and listening to others? Quietly asking questions and showing an interest in the person He was talking to? I do. I believe He met people where they were and cared about them. He didn’t find them and rush in to condemn them. He did not go around telling people who he was and just how vital he was, quite the contrary, he did the opposite. When He restored sight to the blind or healed a man of leprosy, many times we read that He told the person he restored not tell anyone. He didn’t come for that. He came to do what His Father had sent Him to do.

I can’t help but think of some of the greats throughout history, their stories carry the same storyline, selfless acts rather than acts that pointed to them as an essential person. I also think of the following scripture found in Proverbs 27:2 that says, “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.”

I have been in many meetings, conferences, and forums where I have met “important” people. I usually sit and watch. Most times I stay quiet because I think when I shut up and listen, I learn a lot about others.

Recently I was at a function with quite a few people present. As one person began to share a personal struggle with our small group, I just sat and listened along with a couple of others. As the person described their excitement about a new process they were developing, another person in the group hijacked the conversation and begin to talk only about themselves and about all they had accomplished; promptly shutting down the accomplishments of the other person. Throughout the evening, various people had an opportunity to share a little about themselves and right away you could tell the ones who were outward focused and those who were inward focused. Ironically, the ones who said the least about themselves were probably the most successful. Guess what else? They were also the ones who listened to others.

You Make Life Matter…

November 12, 2017 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

you make life matter I believe that many of our problems can be averted if we would honestly seek to understand other people. I think many of today’s issues would go away if we weren’t so angry and ready to pounce on each other. I would like to believe that if people would stop talking so much, insisting on being heard, would stop and think before speaking, maybe, just maybe, they would hear what the other person is trying to communicate.

I tell you what I think. I think that today, many feel that they are more important than the other person. We have easily demonized each other, so we don’t have to listen to each other. We are bent on getting our point of view out there, that we don’t have time or patience to wait to hear the other person. For some, it’s like being on stage. The problem with the limelight is that we forget sometimes like it so much, we release all inhibitions.

Just think about this for a moment, every one of us ultimately wants to feel that we matter. We want to feel appreciated. I am God’s child. I am made in His image, and that makes me feel good about me. You, too, were made in His image. You are who you are, and that’s okay with Him. Disagreements happen because we have different experiences that we wish others would stop and try to see. When they don’t, we get frustrated. We want people to change to be like us and they won’t, so we get angry. We want people to hear us, and they don’t, so we get louder and

Stop arguing and start looking at each other as a child of God. I am God’s child, and so are you. I am made in His image, and so are you. You are who you are, and that’s okay with Him, but He loves me too. Disagreements happen because we have different experiences that we wish others would stop and try to see. When they don’t, we get frustrated. We want people to change to be like us and they won’t, so we get angry. We want people to hear us, and they don’t, so we get louder and more hostile. Ultimately we shut down any and all channels to communicate and to learn to appreciate each other’s ideas, thoughts, and their uniqueness.

When we refuse to change for someone else, when we then stand our ground, not willing to bend an inch to understand the other person, I think we lose.

be the change The truth is, no one has to change anything You don’t have to change your views to match mine; nor do you have to change your way of thinking. You don’t have to change your looks to look like the runway models; you don’t have to change so that you have thousands of friends to be okay and you don’t have to be anywhere near perfect either. You are who you are, made in God’s image. However, don’t forget that the person you disagree with is also made in the image of God. Neither may act like they are, but they are. Their behavior may suggest differently, but God still loves both of them. God loves the entire world.

If we agree that there was only one perfect person that walked this earth, Jesus, maybe we can begin to accept that we are different from others and at the same time, we are just like all others, imperfect.

I can’t change how you see the world, but I will tell you that when the world looks at you, the extraordinary people see a unique person with qualities and attributes that only are given to you. If you say to me that there are those who don’t see you, I say, maybe they are not supposed to. God sees you. He made you. He loves you. You don’t have to accept Him, but He accepts you.

I pray that I will learn to accept others just like Jesus did. Don’t you?LaSharnda

Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith

Encourager or Discourager?

June 22, 2017 ~ authorlasharnda ~ 1 Comment

I love being the person who makes another person feel good about themselves. I like speaking words of encouragement to them and then watching them come alive. I know, probably more than most, just how powerful words can be.

The good thing about a person who likes to encourage is that they do it whether the other person needs it or not. They know how important it is to be sensitive to those with whom they interact.

I am sure I have mentioned before that I people watch. By people watching, I can tell immediately who the Encouragers are and who the Discouragers are. I want you to think about this. You know just as I do, the value that Encouragers bring. We know the traits they demonstrate; generally, they are happy, optimistic and positive people. We also know the Discouragers; they are just the opposite. Although they can be negative, pessimistic and unhappy, many times they display more subtle traits than that. In fact, you may not be able to really point to anything specific; you just feel it.

Discouragers may not ever say one discouraging or disparaging word, but what they can do is not acknowledge any good thing about you. They may be ones who withhold praise or stay quiet when someone else has something good to say about you. They don’t do or say anything to support you, although they claim to be your friend.

Encourage-1thessalonians Which are you? Are you an Encourager or a Discourager? You may not be comfortable with giving compliments, but you can still encourage others.

I believe one form of encouragement is seen in actions. We can “love” the way Jesus told us to do when He said to “love one another.” Life is hard and people are facing challenges every day. People we meet or those we interact with each day are facing things that we know nothing about. People are facing loss, whether in the form of a divorce or a loss through death. Others are going through the loss of a job, while others may be dealing with grave illnesses, addictions, family problems, work problems, foreclosures, or jail. These are real life issues and some will share while others will not. You may be the difference in whether they keep going or give up, in whether they succeed or fail. You don’t have to show sympathy–that’s not encouragement. What you should do is inspire another person with the courage they need to keep on going. No, you may not be comfortable speaking words of affirmation to others, but you can do other things to encourage those around you.

Be careful and watch the words you use with your children and grandchildren no matter how frustrated you might get with them. If you are upset, always tell them that you love them and then tell them why you may be disappointed. If you are frustrated with your spouse, do the same. If you have an obnoxious friend that might drive you nuts, pray for yourself and be intentional in praying for them. If you have a friend who seems to always achieve & get what they want, to include compliments, don’t begrudge them, encourage them to keep on achieving and thank God for their achievements and blessings. All of the good that you do in speaking well of and to others, will come back to you. In the end, God commands us to encourage one another. You want to obey Him, don’t you?

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

(1 Thessalonians 5:11)

You Got This….

April 21, 2017 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

underestimate me It can be frustrating when you have to deal with people who tend to always underestimate you. I want to tell you that I totally get it. However, I want to offer an alternative to you. Don’t get frustrated or mad. Learn to smile within yourself when they do. Think of what they are doing but do so and laugh at them. You will gain much more positive energy than if you allow yourself to become angry. Look, isn’t it really funny? Yes, it is. So instead of letting them get to you, let them fuel you.

I bring this up because of what I have noticed with some of my dear friends. Some are good at handling it when others underestimate them, while others are not so good at it. There are two kinds of people, those who act strategically and those who react irrationally. First of all, you may not even be aware that your reactions can come across to decision makers as irrational. If you tend to lash out by commenting or by displaying negative body postures, you only hurt yourself. So the best thing to do is learn more positive coping strategies to get better results the next time you may be challenged to do a job.

react Those who are strategic and ultimately get what they want, make good out of a bad situation. They learn to discern when they are taking things personally and recalibrate because when they begin to see everything as personal, they tend to not think strategically. When you are not thinking of the other person’s next move, they get a leg up on you and they win. They don’t cause you to react; you cause you to react. Not cool.

When you react, you do so out of pure emotion. Emotions range from frustration, anger, and even fear if you feel people are (a.) underestimating you or (b.) trying to take something from you. The most strategic thing you can do over deliver and show others that you have what it takes. You are smart.

In everything, think of your next move as if you are playing chess and try to remove your personal emotions out of the equation. I don’t care how hurt you feel, think above the pain and create your next move. Your next move may be to look for other opportunities elsewhere is you are continually marginalized. Don’t stay where you are being frustrated and feeling undervalued. I have seen many people hate where they are and don’t do anything about it except stay and complain. When they never move up, they stay where they are and continue to complain and become more and more bitter. I say, don’t stay anywhere where you feel undervalued. The first thing you need to do is to recreate yourself where you are, but if you can’t, move on, and find another place to start again if you need to.

I have seen many people hate where they are and don’t do anything about it except stay and complain. When they never move up, they stay where they are and continue to complain and become more and more bitter. I say, don’t stay anywhere where you feel undervalued. The first thing you need to do is to recreate yourself where you are, but if you can’t, move on, and find another place to start again if you need to. Too many times, we allow life’s situations define our destiny. Don’t let that happen.

Anyway, always remember, being strategic is about being proactive and irrationality is reactive. One gives you the advantage and the other does not. Oh! One more thing. In all things, pray and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you. Your part? Be all that God has created you to be. He did not create you to be second, third, or last. He created you with a uniqueness that no one else has but you and you can count of Him fulfilling His perfect will for you.

Stretch Out Your Hands!

March 25, 2017 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

stretching forth your hands I am an animated worshipper of Christ. Sometimes I can be in my car and feel the Spirit of God move on me and I raise my hands in praise. I have to be so careful when I am driving,though. Some days I can be sitting in my office listening to a praise song and can be overcome with joy! I feel the Spirit of God so strong at times that my emotions take over and I have to remind myself that I am at work. My eyes fill with tears for nothing more than I am in the presence of God.

I was recently sitting and working, and I kept hearing the words of a song that said “Spirit Move. Come and do what only you can do.” As I mentioned, I was quietly working away but all of a sudden, I felt my hands stretch out towards heaven. I heard my voice say “thank You for Your presence.” For the longest time, I could do nothing but sit and contemplate.

As I sit here now, I think about all that has happened in my life recently. One was that of loss. The loss of my sister-cousin hit home. She was one year younger than me, and we were raised as sisters by our grandparents. We both grew up in that Pentecostal home of our grandparents. We were both Believers who ended up still Pentecostals even after we were long gone from that environment. We both went to college and got advanced degrees, both married military men, although her husband of 35+ years was her high school sweetheart. We both had only one child, and both loved God with all of our hearts.

It is hard to swallow that she was taken away too soon. In the middle of my sadness. stretching forth your hand There is one thing I know for certain, she would be the first to stretch out her hands to worship God no matter her circumstances. That is something I can rejoice about and so can her beautiful daughter and granddaughters. Their mom was a warrior, a fighter, and a bold Born-again Believer. In their sadness, that’s what I want them to remember. I want to think about how passionately she praised. I want them to think about how much she would want them to do the same. She would want us all to miss her, and we do, but she would want us to know that she is with Jesus and she is shouting and praising her way through heaven.

Look, I know there are those who don’t believe in heaven or hell. I do. I even know that there are those who don’t believe in Jesus. That’s ok, that does not stop me from believing in Him. I know some even think that once we are gone, that’s it. Hey, I don’t. I look forward to a day that my cousin and I will see each other again. I look forward to joining her in the presence of God and Jesus with outstretched hands praising Him. In the meantime, I will stretch out my hands towards heaven in praise. I will stretch out my arms to my niece and my grand nieces and love them like their mother did. I will assure them that they are loved and adored. I will remind them to stretch out their hands too and worship because strength comes through worship. Finally, I will remind them to be “strong and courageous” for the Lord our God will be with them where ever they go. And where they go, their mother, my cousin, will be there with them.

Father, I pray that you will pour out your Spirit on us now. You said you would, and I lift my hands as a means of saying I receive Your Spirit.

Someone Needs You…

March 7, 2017 ~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

someone needs you A friend in India sent me a note and asked if I would do an inspirational video. She wanted it so that she could play it for the women in her company during Women’s month. I was so impressed with this young lady when I met her this year as I conducted a Business seminar. She is a Human Resources Manager and this young woman knows where she is going and has a clear plan in place to get there. Plus, she is so positive and enthusiastic!

I have been under a time crunch so I didn’t know if I would get it done or not. So much happened in February. Anyway, at my age, I automatically thought I needed to schedule some time in the studio and get it done for her. She is a millennial! I love them! She said, “can you just do a video on your iPhone and send it to me to play?” I loved it. After doing about 4 videos, I decided on one. The title was: Someone needs you. After doing the video, I began thinking about people like you and decided this would be my blog for this week.

You know, It is so true. Someone needs you too. I believe that something magical happens when you share yourself with others. When you share your hopes and dreams, you move others to think about theirs. I started thinking deeply about what I just said and thought to myself that You—not just me—but You are so very special. You can be very impactful to and for others if you want to be. You can either believe that you were designed by God to share love, forgiveness, acceptance, and encouragement with others or not. If you believe it, you know automatically that all of these positive traits flow from a heart of love that God has given to you . It’s people like you who generate warmth and affection that lift others up to higher heights. You nurture lasting bonds of friendship because God designed you to do so. It’s because of you, others dream dreams and seek to achieve their goals and believe in themselves. Yes, that’s you. Or at least some of you. If you are positive, you know it’s true. someone needs you 2

I know that some of you have been designed to be bold and assertive. It’s easier for you to go after your dreams. I also know that others are a little more passive, somewhat apprehensive, and you kind of know what to do and you will get there eventually. Then there are those of you who are shy and careful and maybe a little fearful because you don’t know where to start in going after that which God has placed in your heart. That’s okay too. Each of us brings value to this beautiful tapestry of life. Although we may be different in our approaches to life, still we have much to add.

We have each been given a special gift from God. Each designed to add value to not only our lives but to the lives of others. Did I say that someone needs you? Well they do. They need your boldness. They need your passivity. They need your vulnerabilities and your love, affection, forgiveness, acceptance and encouragement. Don’t you agree that if you touch the life of one person; If you can help someone believe in themselves; If they are moved to do more and be more because of you, your job on earth would have been achieved? I think so.

I am going to tell you a secret. Ready? You can either add value to others or you can distract from others. You can choose to see the best or default to the worst. You can live in envy and jealousy or you can choose to share who you are with others; hoping that what you share is enough because it is. If we can get it in our heads that we really are special and that we are on this earth to make a huge difference in someone’s life, everything will change.

Are you positive and optimistic? Are you a person who speaks life into others? If you are, I bet you already know the impact you have on others. I like people like you. Thanks for being available for someone who needs you.

Your Dreams are Important…

June 18, 2015 ~ authorlasharnda ~ 2 Comments

Have you ever seriously considered the gifts that God has given you? Have you ever just sat quietly and contemplated what you have and why you have a particular gift? Do you honor God by doing something with what He has given you or do you find yourself sitting, looking or comparing yourself with those around you? Do you look at your friends and secretly resent that they seem to be achieving every single goal that they set? Do you feel a little jealous when a co-worker seems to be able to accomplish one thing after the other? Do you look at yourself and feel inadequate? Well, stop! You are gifted too. You have your own road to travel to get to where you want to be just like the person you are comparing yourself to.

When they achieve their dreams the process isn’t any easier or harder for them as it is for you. The difference is they are focused on achieving their dreams and using their gifts. Are you? Or are you sitting on the sidelines watching them?

I always say that one of the many reasons why dreams aren’t met and success isn’t accomplished, is a real simple one; we are too focused on watching what someone else is doing, comparing ourselves to them and then worrying about what they have accomplished compared to what we have accomplished.

Hey, God gave you your own dreams. If He hasn’t given you the talents to accomplish them yet, you can bet that He will; He’s probably preparing you right now. In fact, Hebrews 13:21 tells us that He has given us gifts that are special. Did you know that? I believe the Bible!

I also believe that just as we have spiritual gifts, God has put dreams in our hearts that are just for us. When we pursue those dreams, I think we are pursuing a destiny designed in God’s grand plan.

Here is some news for you; you can choose to pursue those dreams and do so with an attitude that what God has begun in you, He will complete it or you can watch others pursuing theirs and comparing what they are doing versus what you are doing and just stay stuck where you are. I don’t think that pleases God though and watching others certainly does not do anything to keep you on a forward movement path.

If you aren’t careful, you will become consumed with what others are doing. How does that fulfill your own purpose? It doesn’t. Watching others and comparing yourself to what they have accomplished and what you haven’t, only causes you to question your abilities. It stresses you out. You can become obsessed with their achievements and begin to doubt if you are even capable of achievement. Yet, we can agree based on scripture, that God has given you the ability to do just that; achieve His divine purpose for your life.

Look, your dreams were given to you for you only. My dreams were given to me for me only. You can decide that you will pursue yours and I can decide that I will or will not pursue mine. The point is simple, your journey is yours to travel just as mine is mine to travel. We can trust God to give us the strength, talents, gifts and abilities to achieve our dreams and goals and to finish the race or we can sit back and be distracted by all sorts of things that won’t help us finish our race at all.

One thing that is sure, true and constant and that is, God is God. Whatever gifts He has given is ultimately for His glory. Choose if you intend to honor Him by trusting what dreams He put in you and believe that He is able to help you accomplish them.

Yes, your journey is yours and mine is mine, but all has been determined by God. The question is, what do you intend to do about it? Will you simply watch and compare or will you move forward trusting and obeying? Remember, the choice is yours…