#grace

Imposter Syndrome? Grace Transforms Insecurities

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

Recently, I explored a theme that I have heard repeatedly. The phrase is Imposter Syndrome. After reading about it and hearing comments from various people, I began to wonder about it for myself. Do I ever experience this phenomenon? If I did, would I admit it to anyone? I would admit it to my husband. But in such a competitive world, I can see why people feel they are imposters, especially at work.

imposter syndrome


Social media doesn’t help, either. We believe everything we see on these platforms; worst yet, some of us compare ourselves to others and measure our happiness by their posts. We see friends and family traveling the world, looking happy, only to hear not long after a trip that there is shocking news that life, perhaps, wasn’t as rosy as portrayed. Also, look at the extremely popular people, and suddenly, we hear that they decided this life was just too hard.
To a certain extent, we can all be imposters at some point. However, I would not ascribe that description to many people I know. We are all just trying to do our best. Life gets complicated, and people want not only to survive but also to thrive. So they put on a face, even when the going gets tough, and forge ahead.

gods grace


If you feel you are an imposter, a person who often wears a mask to conceal your insecurities, join the club. But, also know that God knows who we are from the inside out and still loves us. His grace is a mirror reflecting our true worth.


I am sure you know this scripture, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works so that no one can boast.” – Ephesians 2:8-9. See, there you have it. The scripture tells us that the unearned nature of God’s grace destroys our insecurities.


God’s unconditional love breaks the chains of the imposter syndrome because His love fosters a sense of security in His grace. I know some of you are struggling with this issue, but as I have told myself and others, you are not an imposter. Where you are right now is where you are supposed to be. If you are in a boardroom feeling you shouldn’t be there, or if you are in a bathroom trying to get the nerve up to enter a space, you feel overwhelmed, chin up, back straight, and walk like the child of God you are. Find strength and confidence through Christ.

Why Gratitude?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

It should come as no surprise that during this time of year, I would focus on Gratitude. So, before I sat down to write my column this month, I stopped and reflected on the word. I don’t want to go through the same old sentiments you hear year after year. Because quite frankly, Gratitude is something I believe we take for granted. Do you know what I mean

gratitude

What I mean is that it feels kind of superficial to say this is the season to be thankful, when to me, every single day that we are alive is a day to be grateful. I mean, look at the last several years, not only in the United States but throughout the world. Racial tensions, divisiveness, increased anger and violence, and a pandemic. If we survived getting some fatal disease, we should be grateful. If we could overcome the loud voices spewing violence and hatred without losing our true north, be thankful. If we still have our homes, jobs, family members, and even relationships with old friends, that’s reason to be grateful.

What is Gratitude, and why do we need to have it? I think there are two kinds of Gratitude —both important, but I want to focus on biblical Gratitude. One author wrote that biblical Gratitude means to give goodness and grace to others, as we have received from God. It means to extend the joy of receiving to others and God through gestures of kindness and goodness. It is what Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

I trust when we extend these gifts to others, we get them in return. I also believe that the only way we can genuinely exercise these fruits is to start by recognizing that all of these are extended to us by the grace of God. As such, we should be thankful that He thought enough of us to extend them. Some might ask, “How did He do that?” Through His Son, Jesus. John 3:16 tells us, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son. Whoever will believe in Him will not perish but have life.” You might not be able to wrap your mind around these scriptures, and I can understand that. People have asked me how I can believe them. Well, I tell you how, through faith. Faith that when I give, I will receive. When I forgive, others will forgive me, and when I show grace to others, people will extend that same grace to me. For that, I am grateful.

I honestly believe that. Gratitude tends to eliminate cynicism, sarcasm, and mistrust. A thankful heart creates optimism rather than pessimism. And, it causes us to give others the benefit of the doubt. You know, the same we ask others to do for us.

Brokenness…

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

I read something recently that said in sum, “when we figure out just how broken an individual may be, it is easier to show them more grace.”  I had to think about that for a minute. However, not too long after reading that post, I had to agree.

Some say “hurt people, hurt people.” Others, like me, understand what is being said, but I have a problem buying it.  Why is it that some hurt people go out of their way to be brokennessbetter? What causes them to recognize their brokenness and say, I will not do that to others? What makes some so different in their approach to their brokenness than others?  Is it that not everyone is able or capable of looking inward? Is it that it’s just hard to see how our actions affect others?

I cannot explain away the actions of others. Brokenness is a variety of things from broken hearts to messy lives and imperfections. For some, it is a way of demanding pity while for others, it is something that has motivated them to change the world.  In the Bible, brokenness means one who is crushed and torn, yet they are at the point of repentance. For example, look at David.  When Nathan confronted David about the horrible things he had done, after Nathan’s long rebuke, David said in 2 Samuel 12, “I have sinned against God.” David is known as a “man after God’s heart.”  He admitted his failure and sins. He didn’t make excuses, he owned what he had done wrong.

Don’t ever forget that we are all broken in some way. The Bible tells us that “we were born in sin and shaped in iniquity.” Therefore, we are capable of horrible things too.  What can help with dealing with brokenness? Who can cause us to exercise self-control when life becomes messy?  The Holy Spirit.  John 14:1 says, “do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and trust in Me (Jesus). Another scripture says, “Come to me, all you who are tired and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28-30). He will help with our brokenness.

Do we show more grace when we learn of a person’s brokenness? Maybe. I would like to think I do. Brokenness is no excuse to hurt others. Brokenness doesn’t give another person that right. However, when they do hurt me, I hope I am big enough to forgive them and pray for them more than once even if they never acknowledge, admit, or own up to their actions.

Don’t Downplay Your Blessing!

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

 

Every-Day-in-Every-WayHave you asked God for a particular thing and He dropped it right into your lap? It just came out of nowhere? Well, that has happened to me on several occasions and there is no doubt that it was God. I love it when I know that it is God who has answered a prayer that no one knew about but me and Him.

One thing that has proven consistent for me has been the Ying and Yang of experiencing a blessing. When I get thrilled and excited about the blessing, something happens; something that tries to affect my joy. I will face some kind of opposition, sometimes passive hostility, from people I thought respected me as much as I respected them.  I don’t know about you, but to me, there is nothing more stressful than to be misunderstood.

I am old enough to know and expect people to talk behind my back, but I abhor finding out what they have said.  Also, I am shocked when the person who said it is someone I respected. Initially, I am really bothered by what I have heard them say; I think about it over and over. Next, I am generally angry but I tend to get over my anger quickly because I refuse to allow anyone to affect my joy. Finally, which should be first actually, I go to my Bible to seek comfort, assurance, guidance, and support.

Recently, I went through this process and when I opened my Bible, I turned to Psalms 2. What jumped out at me was this portion of scripture that read: “You are My Son, Today I have become your Father. Ask Me and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession.”  I kept going back to that one part of the scripture, reading what was prior to it and after, but that portion kept speaking to me.  Isn’t it obvious what God was saying? Maybe not to you, but to me God was saying, “You asked, I gave, now go and be blessed, be happy, be effective. You wanted it, you got it.” I felt a sense of release. I told myself, LaSharnda, you are to continue to thank Him and praise Him, only!  I shouldn’t be getting hung up on what others were thinking or saying.  By doing so, I would be ignoring what God had done for me and would be giving more attention to those who had no joy for me at all.  Their silliness would become a huge distraction.

Am I the only one who experiences this? Do you? Has God blessed you with something and instead of celebrating it, you became distracted by the negativity of others. You focused on what they were saying or doing or not saying or doing. Maybe you downplayed your blessing because of them. Please don’t do that.  God has a plan and purpose for you and you already know that. He may fulfill it as He pleases and others may not understand. They may get mad at you for leaving a job they feel you should stay in for longer periods or they may talk about you and not celebrate with you. That’s okay, always remember, ”

God has a plan and purpose for you and you already know that. He may fulfill it as He pleases and others may not understand. They may get mad at you for leaving a job they feel you should have stayed in for a longer period or they may talk about you and not celebrate with you. That’s okay, always remember, “His thoughts are not our thoughts and our ways are not His ways.” (Isaiah 55:8)  His are always greater, better and worth following.  Also remember, if you pray and ask God for something and He gives it to you, whether your friends, family or colleagues like it or not, it’s yours. Don’t be boastful or arrogant; just be thankful, pray for wisdom and if they go low, you take the high road.