#friendship

Cultivating Meaningful Friendships

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

I must admit that I am not that easy to warm up to. I take my time to feel people out before allowing others to see my vulnerabilities. Also, I am not the kind of person who openly shares my life with someone who hasn’t earned the right to know.

When I was young and my grandfather was alive, I can recall how warm and friendly he was. I guess that goes with the job of Pastor, but he was just a calm, gentle soul that I adored. When I was a girl, he said to me, “If you want friends, show yourself to be friendly.” As I grew and read my Bible, I found what he was saying without saying it in a condemning way was scriptural. The scripture is found in Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

I didn’t think I needed close friends in my early adult years. If I had one I could call my best friend, that would be enough. I know that there are varying levels of friendship, and I also believe that some relationships are for a season, some seasons being longer or shorter than others. What’s really important, though, is to understand that even the varying levels of friendship are important to our growth.

For example, if you had a friend that you trusted, but they somehow hurt you, you can learn from that relationship. I hope you will not learn to distrust people, however. What I pray you took away from it is that only some people or relationships are as deep as you may perceive them. It may be hard to accept this, but I bet there were warning signs along the way. It could have been something small that you brushed off or something huge that hurt you, but you chose to ignore it. You can see those signs as vividly as you would on a day alone. No worries, it’s over, move on. God is ready to replace that person with someone else. You were never meant to be alone.

Friendship is biblical; just as Genesis 2:18 points out, being alone is not good. God created each of us to be in fellowship with Him. But He also made us have a desire for community. Just think of all the places where you and I can form special friendships: work, home, school, church, and our neighborhoods or communities. I have learned that friendships play a unique role in my life. So, instead of disregarding others, I look to cultivate strong bonds, knowing that some will last a lifetime and others will last for a season.

Whatever God’s purpose is for those you have the honor of befriending, trust that He will help you find the right circle of friends. And when some do not work out as you had hoped, look to the lesson and wait to see who God places in your life next.

Do You Have Heart Issues Like Me?

~ authorlasharnda ~ Leave a comment

heartsDo you ever deal with “heart” issues?

I have been dealing with heart issues lately. My heart and my head are working overtime trying to figure out myself and my motives while trying not to worry about the motives of others.

I observe people. I am a people-watcher. More than anything, I listen to people, even when they don’t think I am. I watch for signs of superiority and insincerity. These traits will show up in various ways.  All you need to do is wait.

Anyway, I don’t like the way I have been feeling lately. Like you, I have seen the best of folks and the worst. I told myself that it’s time to stop and reevaluate my surroundings; not my inner circle, they are cool, but some of my associations and occasional acquaintances. If I, or you, are not careful, these associations can become more frequent and more influential in our thought patterns. You see, we sometimes hear from these acquaintances more than from our inner circle and before we know it, their voices are in our heads and spills over into our hearts. This is the time to find our inner circle!

My inner circle is people who are more than just trustworthy; they are authentic!  They are positive, going somewhere people who energize me.  We don’t always agree, but we respect each other.

friendship-starts-in-loving-heartWe value the opinions of each other, and we trust that each one of us is intelligent and bright enough to have an opinion worth hearing. I love my inner circle because we believe in treating others well whether others are like us or not. We don’t insult others or treat people in a nasty way. We are proud and open-minded and we recognize that we don’t have all the answers, nor do we know the mind of God, but we trust God with the answer.

I am reminding myself lately to be careful to check my heart. I don’t want it to become dark and distrusting of others. I ask you to do the same.  With all that is going on in the world, we have to guard our hearts and our attitudes. Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into negativity and pessimism. It’s too easy to do.  One way to ensure that does not happen is to step away from social media (which isn’t so social anymore) and read your Bible.  Stop listening to the crowd for a while, rather, sit, reflect and wait to hear from God.

The Word of God says in Lamentations 3:22-23 that “The steadfast love of the Lord never ends. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.; great is your faithfulness.”

I know that God loves me. He loves you too, but He also loves the world. The world doesn’t look the same to everyone; I get that. However, the world and all that is in it belongs to God (Psalms 24:1).

I have told myself that instead of being frustrated with what I have seen lately, I will trust God. He has always taken care of me and I trust He will continue to do so. He mends the brokenhearted and He cares about the things that bother us.  I  believe that the God I love is probably a whole lot more tolerant and accepting of those that are not like me. I don’t know, but I do believe that one day I will.